Read the Bible in a Year

Each day, we'll post passages so that you can read the Bible in one year. This is part of The Colossians 13:16 Project, sponsored by Cove Presbyterian Church, 3404 Main Street, Weirton, West Virginia. You're invited to worship with us Sundays, at 11:00 a.m. or Saturdays, at 6:30 p.m. You may also want to consider joining one our adult Bible Studies: Thursdays at 12:00 noon and Sundays at 9:30 a.m. and 10:00 a.m. We also have a full range of programs for children. If you want more information about the church, check out the other blogs. And please feel free to leave any comments.

The Bible in a Year is a ministry of Cove Presbyterian Church. We need your support to keep posting. If you find it helpful, you can support this blog by your contributions. They may be sent to Cove Presbyterian Church, 3404 Main Street, Weirton, WV 26062. You can also use the PayPal link below:

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Sunday, February 18, 2018

Bible Readings for February 18, 2018


Today our passages are Leviticus 6:1–7:27; Mark 3:7-30; Psalm 37:1-11; and Proverbs 10:3-4 The readings are from The Message by Eugene H. PetersonIf you find these readings helpful, please consider sending an offering directly to Cove Presbyterian Church, 3404 Main Street, Weirton, West Virginia or through PayPal by using the link below.
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Leviticus 6-7:27 (The Message)


Leviticus 6


1-6 God spoke to Moses: "When anyone sins by betraying trust with God by deceiving his neighbor regarding something entrusted to him, or by robbing or cheating or threatening him; or if he has found something lost and lies about it and swears falsely regarding any of these sins that people commonly commit—when he sins and is found guilty, he must return what he stole or extorted, restore what was entrusted to him, return the lost thing he found, or anything else about which he swore falsely. He must make full compensation, add twenty percent to it, and hand it over to the owner on the same day he brings his Compensation-Offering. He must present to God as his Compensation-Offering a ram without any defect from the flock, assessed at the value of a Compensation-Offering. 7 "Thus the priest will make atonement for him before God and he's forgiven of any of the things that one does that bring guilt." 
Further Instructions
8-13 God spoke to Moses: "Command Aaron and his sons. Tell them, These are the instructions for the Whole-Burnt-Offering. Leave the Whole-Burnt-Offering on the Altar hearth through the night until morning, with the fire kept burning on the Altar. Then dress in your linen clothes with linen underwear next to your body. Remove the ashes remaining from the Whole-Burnt-Offering and place them beside the Altar. Then change clothes and carry the ashes outside the camp to a clean place. Meanwhile keep the fire on the Altar burning; it must not go out. Replenish the wood for the fire every morning, arrange the Whole-Burnt-Offering on it, and burn the fat of the Peace-Offering on top of it all. Keep the fire burning on the Altar continuously. It must not go out.
14-18 "These are the instructions for the Grain-Offering. Aaron's sons are to present it to God in front of the Altar. The priest takes a handful of the fine flour of the Grain-Offering with its oil and all its incense and burns this as a memorial on the Altar, a pleasing fragrance to God. Aaron and his sons eat the rest of it. It is unraised bread and so eaten in a holy place—in the Courtyard of the Tent of Meeting. They must not bake it with yeast. I have designated it as their share of the gifts presented to me. It is very holy, like the Absolution-Offering and the Compensation-Offering. Any male descendant among Aaron's sons may eat it. This is a fixed rule regarding God's gifts, stretching down the generations. Anyone who touches these offerings must be holy."

19-23 God spoke to Moses: "This is the offering which Aaron and his sons each are to present to God on the day he is anointed: two quarts of fine flour as a regular Grain-Offering, half in the morning and half in the evening. Prepare it with oil on a griddle. Bring it well-mixed and then present it crumbled in pieces as a pleasing fragrance to God. Aaron's son who is anointed to succeed him offers it to God—this is a fixed rule. The whole thing is burned. Every Grain-Offering of a priest is burned completely; it must not be eaten."

24-30 God spoke to Moses: "Tell Aaron and his sons, These are the instructions for the Absolution-Offering. Slaughter the Absolution-Offering in the place where the Whole-Burnt-Offering is slaughtered before God—the offering is most holy. The priest in charge eats it in a holy place, the Courtyard of the Tent of Meeting. Anyone who touches any of the meat must be holy. A garment that gets blood spattered on it must be washed in a holy place. Break the clay pot in which the meat was cooked. If it was cooked in a bronze pot, scour it and rinse it with water. Any male among the priestly families may eat it; it is most holy. But any Absolution-Offering whose blood is brought into the Tent of Meeting to make atonement in the Sanctuary must not be eaten, it has to be burned." 

Leviticus 7


1-6 "These are the instructions for the Compensation-Offering. It is most holy. Slaughter the Compensation-Offering in the same place that the Whole-Burnt-Offering is slaughtered. Splash its blood against all sides of the Altar. Offer up all the fat: the fat tail, the fat covering the entrails, the two kidneys and the fat encasing them at the loins, and the lobe of the liver that is removed with the kidneys. The priest burns them on the Altar as a gift to God. It is a Compensation-Offering. Any male from among the priests' families may eat it. But it must be eaten in a holy place; it is most holy. 7-10 "The Compensation-Offering is the same as the Absolution-Offering— the same rules apply to both. The offering belongs to the priest who makes atonement with it. The priest who presents a Whole-Burnt-Offering for someone gets the hide for himself. Every Grain-Offering baked in an oven or prepared in a pan or on a griddle belongs to the priest who presents it. It's his. Every Grain-Offering, whether dry or mixed with oil, belongs equally to all the sons of Aaron.

11-15 "These are the instructions for the Peace-Offering which is presented to God. If you bring it to offer thanksgiving, then along with the Thanksgiving-Offering present unraised loaves of bread mixed with oil, unraised wafers spread with oil, and cakes of fine flour, well-kneaded and mixed with oil. Along with the Peace-Offering of thanksgiving, present loaves of yeast bread as an offering. Bring one of each kind as an offering, a Contribution-Offering to God; it goes to the priest who throws the blood of the Peace-Offering. Eat the meat from the Peace-Offering of thanksgiving the same day it is offered. Don't leave any of it overnight.
16-21 "If the offering is a Votive-Offering or a Freewill-Offering, it may be eaten the same day it is sacrificed and whatever is left over on the next day may also be eaten. But any meat from the sacrifice that is left to the third day must be burned up. If any of the meat from the Peace-Offering is eaten on the third day, the person who has brought it will not be accepted. It won't benefit him a bit—it has become defiled meat. And whoever eats it must take responsibility for his iniquity. Don't eat meat that has touched anything ritually unclean; burn it up. Any other meat can be eaten by those who are ritually clean. But if you're not ritually clean and eat meat from the Peace-Offering for God, you will be excluded from the congregation. And if you touch anything ritually unclean, whether human or animal uncleanness or an obscene object, and go ahead and eat from a Peace-Offering for God, you'll be excluded from the congregation."

22-27 God spoke to Moses: "Speak to the People of Israel. Tell them, Don't eat any fat of cattle or sheep or goats. The fat of an animal found dead or torn by wild animals can be put to some other purpose, but you may not eat it. If you eat fat from an animal from which a gift has been presented to God, you'll be excluded from the congregation. And don't eat blood, whether of birds or animals, no matter where you end up living. If you eat blood you'll be excluded from the congregation." 


Mark 3:7-30 (The Message)

The Twelve Apostles
7-10Jesus went off with his disciples to the sea to get away. But a huge crowd from Galilee trailed after them—also from Judea, Jerusalem, Idumea, across the Jordan, and around Tyre and Sidon—swarms of people who had heard the reports and had come to see for themselves. He told his disciples to get a boat ready so he wouldn't be trampled by the crowd. He had healed many people, and now everyone who had something wrong was pushing and shoving to get near and touch him.
11-12Evil spirits, when they recognized him, fell down and cried out, "You are the Son of God!" But Jesus would have none of it. He shut them up, forbidding them to identify him in public.
13-19He climbed a mountain and invited those he wanted with him. They climbed together. He settled on twelve, and designated them apostles. The plan was that they would be with him, and he would send them out to proclaim the Word and give them authority to banish demons. These are the Twelve:

Simon (Jesus later named him Peter, meaning "Rock"),
James, son of Zebedee,
John, brother of James (Jesus nicknamed the Zebedee brothers Boanerges, meaning "Sons of Thunder"),
Andrew,
Philip,
Bartholomew,
Matthew,
Thomas,
James, son of Alphaeus,
Thaddaeus,
Simon the Canaanite,
Judas Iscariot (who betrayed him).
Satan Fighting Satan?
20-21Jesus came home and, as usual, a crowd gathered—so many making demands on him that there wasn't even time to eat. His friends heard what was going on and went to rescue him, by force if necessary. They suspected he was getting carried away with himself.
22-27The religion scholars from Jerusalem came down spreading rumors that he was working black magic, using devil tricks to impress them with spiritual power. Jesus confronted their slander with a story: "Does it make sense to send a devil to catch a devil, to use Satan to get rid of Satan? A constantly squabbling family disintegrates. If Satan were fighting Satan, there soon wouldn't be any Satan left. Do you think it's possible in broad daylight to enter the house of an awake, able-bodied man, and walk off with his possessions unless you tie him up first? Tie him up, though, and you can clean him out.
28-30"Listen to this carefully. I'm warning you. There's nothing done or said that can't be forgiven. But if you persist in your slanders against God's Holy Spirit, you are repudiating the very One who forgives, sawing off the branch on which you're sitting, severing by your own perversity all connection with the One who forgives." He gave this warning because they were accusing him of being in league with Evil.


Psalm 37:1-11 (The Message)


Psalm 37

A David Psalm
1-2 Don't bother your head with braggarts or wish you could succeed like the wicked.
In no time they'll shrivel like grass clippings
and wilt like cut flowers in the sun.

3-4 Get insurance with God and do a good deed,
settle down and stick to your last.
Keep company with God,
get in on the best.

5-6 Open up before God, keep nothing back;
he'll do whatever needs to be done:
He'll validate your life in the clear light of day
and stamp you with approval at high noon.

7 Quiet down before God,
be prayerful before him.
Don't bother with those who climb the ladder,
who elbow their way to the top.

8-9 Bridle your anger, trash your wrath,
cool your pipes—it only makes things worse.
Before long the crooks will be bankrupt;
God-investors will soon own the store.

10-11 Before you know it, the wicked will have had it;
you'll stare at his once famous place and—nothing!
Down-to-earth people will move in and take over,
relishing a huge bonanza.
 

 

Proverbs 10:3-4 (The Message)


3 God won't starve an honest soul,
but he frustrates the appetites of the wicked.

4 Sloth makes you poor;
diligence brings wealth.


Verse of the Day

“I am sure that nothing can separate us from God's love--not life or death, not angels or spirits, not the present or the future, and not powers above or powers below. Nothing in all creation can separate us from God's love for us in Christ Jesus our Lord!” - Romans 8:38-39
Today's passage is from the Contemporary English Version.

Related imageThought for the Day

English historian, columnist for The Illustrated London News and man of affairs, Arthur Bryant wrote, “Say what you have to say in the fewest possible words.”

A Joke for Today

Related imageA man goes to visit a fortune teller. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news.

"There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt - prepare yourself to be a widow. Your wife will die a violent and horrible death this year."

Visibly shaken, the man stares at the fortune teller's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands.

He took a few deep breaths to compose himself. He simply had to know. He met the fortune-teller's gaze, steadied his voice, and asked his question:

"Will I be found guilty?"

Saturday, February 17, 2018

Bible Readings for February 17, 2018


Today our passages are Leviticus 4:1–5:19; Mark 2:13–3:6; Psalm 36:1-12; and Proverbs 10:1-2. The readings are from The Message by Eugene H. PetersonIf you find these readings helpful, please consider sending an offering directly to Cove Presbyterian Church, 3404 Main Street, Weirton, West Virginia or through PayPal by using the link below.
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Leviticus 4-5:19 (The Message)


Leviticus 4

The Absolution-Offering
 1-12 God spoke to Moses: "Tell the Israelites, When a person sins unintentionally by straying from any of God's commands, breaking what must not be broken, if it's the anointed priest who sins and so brings guilt on the people, he is to bring a bull without defect to God as an Absolution-Offering for the sin he has committed. Have him bring the bull to the entrance of the Tent of Meeting in the presence of God, lay his hand on the bull's head, and slaughter the bull before God. He is then to take some of the bull's blood, bring it into the Tent of Meeting, dip his finger in the blood, and sprinkle some of it seven times before God, before the curtain of the Sanctuary. He is to smear some of the blood on the horns of the Altar of Fragrant Incense before God which is in the Tent of Meeting. He is to pour the rest of the bull's blood out at the base of the Altar of Whole-Burnt-Offering at the entrance of the Tent of Meeting. He is to remove all the fat from the bull of the Absolution-Offering, the fat which covers and is connected to the entrails, the two kidneys and the fat that is around them at the loins, and the lobe of the liver which he takes out along with the kidneys—the same procedure as when the fat is removed from the bull of the Peace-Offering. Finally, he is to burn all this on the Altar of Burnt Offering. Everything else—the bull's hide, meat, head, legs, organs, and guts—he is to take outside the camp to a clean place where the ashes are dumped and is to burn it on a wood fire. 13-21 "If the whole congregation sins unintentionally by straying from one of the commandments of God that must not be broken, they become guilty even though no one is aware of it. When they do become aware of the sin they've committed, the congregation must bring a bull as an Absolution-Offering and present it at the Tent of Meeting. The elders of the congregation will lay their hands on the bull's head in the presence of God and one of them will slaughter it before God. The anointed priest will then bring some of the blood into the Tent of Meeting, dip his finger in the blood, and sprinkle some of it seven times before God in front of the curtain. He will smear some of the blood on the horns of the Altar which is before God in the Tent of Meeting and pour the rest of it at the base of the Altar of Whole-Burnt-Offering at the entrance of the Tent of Meeting. He will remove all the fat and burn it on the Altar. He will follow the same procedure with this bull as with the bull for the Absolution-Offering. The priest makes atonement for them and they are forgiven. They then will take the bull outside the camp and burn it just as they burned the first bull. It's the Absolution-Offering for the congregation.
 22-26 "When a ruler sins unintentionally by straying from one of the commands of his God which must not be broken, he is guilty. When he becomes aware of the sin he has committed, he must bring a goat for his offering, a male without any defect, lay his hand on the head of the goat, and slaughter it in the place where they slaughter the Whole-Burnt-Offering in the presence of God—it's an Absolution-Offering. The priest will then take some of the blood of the Absolution-Offering with his finger, smear it on the horns of the Altar of Whole-Burnt-Offering, and pour the rest at the base of the Altar. He will burn all its fat on the Altar, the same as with the fat of the Peace-Offering.
   "The priest makes atonement for him on account of his sin and he's forgiven.
 27-31 "When an ordinary member of the congregation sins unintentionally, straying from one of the commandments of God which must not be broken, he is guilty. When he is made aware of his sin, he shall bring a goat, a female without any defect, and offer it for his sin, lay his hand on the head of the Absolution-Offering, and slaughter it at the place of the Whole-Burnt-Offering. The priest will take some of its blood with his finger, smear it on the horns of the Altar of Whole-Burnt-Offering, and pour the rest at the base of the Altar. Finally, he'll take out all the fat, the same as with the Peace-Offerings, and burn it on the Altar for a pleasing fragrance to God.
   "In this way, the priest makes atonement for him and he's forgiven.
 32-35 "If he brings a lamb for an Absolution-Offering, he shall present a female without any defect, lay his hand on the head of the Absolution-Offering, and slaughter it at the same place they slaughter the Whole-Burnt-Offering. The priest will take some of the blood of the Absolution-Offering with his finger, smear it on the horns of the Altar of Burnt-Offering, and pour the rest at the base of the Altar. He shall remove all the fat, the same as for the lamb of the Peace-Offering. Finally, the priest will burn it on the Altar on top of the gifts to God.
   "In this way, the priest makes atonement for him on account of his sin and he's forgiven."

Leviticus 5


 1 "If you sin by not stepping up and offering yourself as a witness to something you've heard or seen in cases of wrongdoing, you'll be held responsible. 2 "Or if you touch anything ritually unclean, like the carcass of an unclean animal, wild or domestic, or a dead reptile, and you weren't aware of it at the time, but you're contaminated and you're guilty;
 3 "Or if you touch human uncleanness, any sort of ritually contaminating uncleanness, and you're not aware of it at the time, but later you realize it and you're guilty;
 4 "Or if you impulsively swear to do something, whether good or bad— some rash oath that just pops out—and you aren't aware of what you've done at the time, but later you come to realize it and you're guilty in any of these cases;
 5-6 "When you are guilty, immediately confess the sin that you've committed and bring as your penalty to God for the sin you have committed a female lamb or goat from the flock for an Absolution-Offering.
   "In this way, the priest will make atonement for your sin.
 7-10 "If you can't afford a lamb, bring as your penalty to God for the sin you have committed two doves or two pigeons, one for the Absolution-Offering and the other for the Whole-Burnt-Offering. Bring them to the priest who will first offer the one for the Absolution-Offering: He'll wring its neck but not sever it, splash some of the blood of the Absolution-Offering against the Altar, and squeeze the rest of it out at the base. It's an Absolution-Offering. He'll then take the second bird and offer it as a Whole-Burnt-Offering, following the procedures step-by-step.
   "In this way, the priest will make atonement for your sin and you're forgiven.
 11-12 "If you cannot afford the two doves or pigeons, bring two quarts of fine flour for your Absolution-Offering. Don't put oil or incense on it—it's an Absolution-Offering. Bring it to the priest; he'll take a handful from it as a memorial and burn it on the Altar with the gifts for God. It's an Absolution-Offering.
 13 "The priest will make atonement for you and any of these sins you've committed and you're forgiven. The rest of the offering belongs to the priest, the same as with the Grain-Offering."
Compensation-Offering
14-16 God spoke to Moses: "When a person betrays his trust and unknowingly sins by straying against any of the holy things of God, he is to bring as his penalty to God a ram without any defect from the flock, the value of the ram assessed in shekels, according to the Sanctuary shekel for a Compensation-Offering. He is to make additional compensation for the sin he has committed against any holy thing by adding twenty percent to the ram and giving it to the priest.   "Thus the priest will make atonement for him with the ram of the Compensation-Offering and he's forgiven.
 17-18 "If anyone sins by breaking any of the commandments of God which must not be broken, but without being aware of it at the time, the moment he does realize his guilt he is held responsible. He is to bring to the priest a ram without any defect, assessed at the value of the Compensation-Offering.
 18-19 "Thus the priest will make atonement for him for his error that he was unaware of and he's forgiven. It is a Compensation-Offering; he was surely guilty before God."


Mark 2:13-3:6 (The Message)

The Tax Collector
 13-14Then Jesus went again to walk alongside the lake. Again a crowd came to him, and he taught them. Strolling along, he saw Levi, son of Alphaeus, at his work collecting taxes. Jesus said, "Come along with me." He came.
 15-16Later Jesus and his disciples were at home having supper with a collection of disreputable guests. Unlikely as it seems, more than a few of them had become followers. The religion scholars and Pharisees saw him keeping this kind of company and lit into his disciples: "What kind of example is this, acting cozy with the riffraff?"
 17Jesus, overhearing, shot back, "Who needs a doctor: the healthy or the sick? I'm here inviting the sin-sick, not the spiritually-fit."
Feasting or Fasting?
 18The disciples of John and the disciples of the Pharisees made a practice of fasting. Some people confronted Jesus: "Why do the followers of John and the Pharisees take on the discipline of fasting, but your followers don't?"
 19-20Jesus said, "When you're celebrating a wedding, you don't skimp on the cake and wine. You feast. Later you may need to pull in your belt, but not now. As long as the bride and groom are with you, you have a good time. No one throws cold water on a friendly bonfire. This is Kingdom Come!"
 21-22He went on, "No one cuts up a fine silk scarf to patch old work clothes; you want fabrics that match. And you don't put your wine in cracked bottles."
 23-24One Sabbath day he was walking through a field of ripe grain. As his disciples made a path, they pulled off heads of grain. The Pharisees told on them to Jesus: "Look, your disciples are breaking Sabbath rules!"
 25-28Jesus said, "Really? Haven't you ever read what David did when he was hungry, along with those who were with him? How he entered the sanctuary and ate fresh bread off the altar, with the Chief Priest Abiathar right there watching—holy bread that no one but priests were allowed to eat—and handed it out to his companions?" Then Jesus said, "The Sabbath was made to serve us; we weren't made to serve the Sabbath. The Son of Man is no lackey to the Sabbath. He's in charge!"

Mark 3

Doing Good on the Sabbath
 1-3 Then he went back in the meeting place where he found a man with a crippled hand. The Pharisees had their eyes on Jesus to see if he would heal him, hoping to catch him in a Sabbath infraction. He said to the man with the crippled hand, "Stand here where we can see you."
 4Then he spoke to the people: "What kind of action suits the Sabbath best? Doing good or doing evil? Helping people or leaving them helpless?" No one said a word.
 5-6He looked them in the eye, one after another, angry now, furious at their hard-nosed religion. He said to the man, "Hold out your hand." He held it out—it was as good as new! The Pharisees got out as fast as they could, sputtering about how they would join forces with Herod's followers and ruin him.


Psalm 36:1-12 (The Message)


Psalm 36

A David Psalm
 1-4 The God-rebel tunes in to sedition— all ears, eager to sin.
   He has no regard for God,
      he stands insolent before him.
   He has smooth-talked himself
      into believing
   That his evil
      will never be noticed.
   Words gutter from his mouth,
      dishwater dirty.
   Can't remember when he
      did anything decent.
   Every time he goes to bed,
      he fathers another evil plot.
   When he's loose on the streets,
      nobody's safe.
   He plays with fire
      and doesn't care who gets burned.

 5-6 God's love is meteoric,
      his loyalty astronomic,
   His purpose titanic,
      his verdicts oceanic.
   Yet in his largeness
      nothing gets lost;
   Not a man, not a mouse,
      slips through the cracks.

 7-9 How exquisite your love, O God!
      How eager we are to run under your wings,
   To eat our fill at the banquet you spread
      as you fill our tankards with Eden spring water.
   You're a fountain of cascading light,
      and you open our eyes to light.

 10-12 Keep on loving your friends;
      do your work in welcoming hearts.
   Don't let the bullies kick me around,
      the moral midgets slap me down.
   Send the upstarts sprawling
      flat on their faces in the mud.
 

 

Proverbs 10:1-2 (The Message)


Proverbs 10

The Wise Sayings of Solomon
An Honest Life Is Immortal
 1 Wise son, glad father; stupid son, sad mother.

 2 Ill-gotten gain gets you nowhere;
   an honest life is immortal.
 

 
Verse of the Day
 
“Can anything separate us from the love of Christ? Can trouble, suffering, and hard times, or hunger and nakedness, or danger and death? In everything we have won more than a victory because of Christ who loves us.” - Romans 8:35,37
Today's passage is from the Contemporary English Version.

Ronald Knox.jpgThought for the Day

English Catholic priest, theologian and author of detective stories, Ronald Knox wrote, “A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.”

A Joke for Today

Image result for bodyless headA man is waiting for wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar and tearfully tells the son he is proud of him. 

Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso pops out! 

The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink"! The bartender still shakes his head in dismay. 

Swoooop! Two arms pops out. The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant, "Take another drink"! The bartender ignores the whole affair. By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs pop out. 

The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left.... then to the right.... right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly. 

The bar falls silent. The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says, "That boy should have quit while he was a head." 

Friday, February 16, 2018

Bible Readings for February 16, 2018


Today our passages are Leviticus 1:1–3:17; Mark 1:29–2:12; Psalm 35:17-28; and Proverbs 9:13-18. The readings are from The Message by Eugene H. PetersonIf you find these readings helpful, please consider sending an offering directly to Cove Presbyterian Church, 3404 Main Street, Weirton, West Virginia or through PayPal by using the link below.
https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=NX3WLYQG5864L


Leviticus 1-3:17 (The Message)


Leviticus 1

Whole-Burnt-Offering
 1-2God called Moses and spoke to him from the Tent of Meeting: "Speak to the People of Israel. Tell them, When anyone presents an offering to God, present an animal from either the herd or the flock.  3-9 "If the offering is a Whole-Burnt-Offering from the herd, present a male without a defect at the entrance to the Tent of Meeting that it may be accepted by God. Lay your hand on the head of the Whole-Burnt-Offering so that it may be accepted on your behalf to make atonement for you. Slaughter the bull in God's presence. Aaron's sons, the priests, will make an offering of the blood by splashing it against all sides of the Altar that stands at the entrance to the Tent of Meeting. Next, skin the Whole-Burnt-Offering and cut it up. Aaron's sons, the priests, will prepare a fire on the Altar, carefully laying out the wood, and then arrange the body parts, including the head and the suet, on the wood prepared for the fire on the Altar. Scrub the entrails and legs clean. The priest will burn it all on the Altar: a Whole-Burnt-Offering, a Fire-Gift, a pleasing fragrance to God.
 10-13 "If the Whole-Burnt-Offering comes from the flock, whether sheep or goat, present a male without defect. Slaughter it on the north side of the Altar in God's presence. The sons of Aaron, the priests, will throw the blood against all sides of the Altar. Cut it up and the priest will arrange the pieces, including the head and the suet, on the wood prepared for burning on the Altar. Scrub the entrails and legs clean. The priest will offer it all, burning it on the Altar: a Whole-Burnt-Offering, a Fire-Gift, a pleasing fragrance to God.
 14-17 "If a bird is presented to God for the Whole-Burnt-Offering it can be either a dove or a pigeon. The priest will bring it to the Altar, wring off its head, and burn it on the Altar. But he will first drain the blood on the side of the Altar, remove the gizzard and its contents, and throw them on the east side of the Altar where the ashes are piled. Then rip it open by its wings but leave it in one piece and burn it on the Altar on the wood prepared for the fire: a Whole-Burnt-Offering, a Fire-Gift, a pleasing fragrance to God." 

Leviticus 2

Grain-Offering
 1-3 "When you present a Grain-Offering to God, use fine flour. Pour oil on it, put incense on it, and bring it to Aaron's sons, the priests. One of them will take a handful of the fine flour and oil, with all the incense, and burn it on the Altar for a memorial: a Fire-Gift, a pleasing fragrance to God. The rest of the Grain-Offering is for Aaron and his sons—a most holy part of the Fire-Gifts to God.  4 "When you present a Grain-Offering of oven-baked loaves, use fine flour, mixed with oil but no yeast. Or present wafers made without yeast and spread with oil.
 5-6 "If you bring a Grain-Offering cooked on a griddle, use fine flour mixed with oil but without yeast. Crumble it and pour oil on it—it's a Grain-Offering.
 7 "If you bring a Grain-Offering deep-fried in a pan, make it of fine flour with oil.
 8-10 "Bring the Grain-Offering you make from these ingredients and present it to the priest. He will bring it to the Altar, break off a memorial piece from the Grain-Offering, and burn it on the Altar: a Fire-Gift, a pleasing fragrance to God. The rest of the Grain-Offering is for Aaron and his sons—a most holy part of the gifts to God.
 11-13 "All the Grain-Offerings that you present to God must be made without yeast; you must never burn any yeast or honey as a Fire-Gift to God. You may offer them to God as an offering of firstfruits but not on the Altar as a pleasing fragrance. Season every presentation of your Grain-Offering with salt. Don't leave the salt of the covenant with your God out of your Grain-Offerings. Present all your offerings with salt.
 14-16 "If you present a Grain-Offering of firstfruits to God, bring crushed heads of the new grain roasted. Put oil and incense on it—it's a Grain-Offering. The priest will burn some of the mixed grain and oil with all the incense as a memorial—a Fire-Gift to God." 

Leviticus 3

The Peace-Offering
 1-5"If your offering is a Peace-Offering and you present an animal from the herd, either male or female, it must be an animal without any defect. Lay your hand on the head of your offering and slaughter it at the entrance of the Tent of Meeting. Aaron's sons, the priests, will throw the blood on all sides of the Altar. As a Fire-Gift to God from the Peace-Offering, present all the fat that covers or is connected to the entrails, the two kidneys and the fat around them at the loins, and the lobe of the liver that is removed along with the kidneys. Aaron and his sons will burn it on the Altar along with the Whole-Burnt-Offering that is on the wood prepared for the fire: a Fire-Gift, a pleasing fragrance to God.  6-11 "If your Peace-Offering to God comes from the flock, bring a male or female without defect. If you offer a lamb, offer it to God. Lay your hand on the head of your offering and slaughter it at the Tent of Meeting. The sons of Aaron will throw its blood on all sides of the Altar. As a Fire-Gift to God from the Peace-Offering, present its fat, the entire fat tail cut off close to the backbone, all the fat on and connected to the entrails, the two kidneys and the fat around them on the loins, and the lobe of the liver which is removed along with the kidneys. The priest will burn it on the Altar: a meal, a Fire-Gift to God.
 12-16 "If the offering is a goat, bring it into the presence of God, lay your hand on its head, and slaughter it in front of the Tent of Meeting. Aaron's sons will throw the blood on all sides of the Altar. As a Fire-Gift to God present the fat that covers and is connected to the entrails, the two kidneys and the fat which is around them on the loins, and the lobe of the liver which is removed along with the kidneys. The priest will burn them on the Altar: a meal, a Fire-Gift, a pleasing fragrance.
 16-17 "All the fat belongs to God. This is the fixed rule down through the generations, wherever you happen to live: Don't eat the fat; don't eat the blood. None of it." 


Mark 1:29-2:12 (The Message)


 29-31Directly on leaving the meeting place, they came to Simon and Andrew's house, accompanied by James and John. Simon's mother-in-law was sick in bed, burning up with fever. They told Jesus. He went to her, took her hand, and raised her up. No sooner had the fever left than she was up fixing dinner for them.
 32-34That evening, after the sun was down, they brought sick and evil-afflicted people to him, the whole city lined up at his door! He cured their sick bodies and tormented spirits. Because the demons knew his true identity, he didn't let them say a word.
The Leper
 35-37While it was still night, way before dawn, he got up and went out to a secluded spot and prayed. Simon and those with him went looking for him. They found him and said, "Everybody's looking for you."
 38-39Jesus said, "Let's go to the rest of the villages so I can preach there also. This is why I've come." He went to their meeting places all through Galilee, preaching and throwing out the demons.
 40A leper came to him, begging on his knees, "If you want to, you can cleanse me."
 41-45Deeply moved, Jesus put out his hand, touched him, and said, "I want to. Be clean." Then and there the leprosy was gone, his skin smooth and healthy. Jesus dismissed him with strict orders: "Say nothing to anyone. Take the offering for cleansing that Moses prescribed and present yourself to the priest. This will validate your healing to the people." But as soon as the man was out of earshot, he told everyone he met what had happened, spreading the news all over town. So Jesus kept to out-of-the-way places, no longer able to move freely in and out of the city. But people found him, and came from all over.

Mark 2

A Paraplegic
 1-5 After a few days, Jesus returned to Capernaum, and word got around that he was back home. A crowd gathered, jamming the entrance so no one could get in or out. He was teaching the Word. They brought a paraplegic to him, carried by four men. When they weren't able to get in because of the crowd, they removed part of the roof and lowered the paraplegic on his stretcher. Impressed by their bold belief, Jesus said to the paraplegic, "Son, I forgive your sins."
 6-7Some religion scholars sitting there started whispering among themselves, "He can't talk that way! That's blasphemy! God and only God can forgive sins."
 8-12Jesus knew right away what they were thinking, and said, "Why are you so skeptical? Which is simpler: to say to the paraplegic, 'I forgive your sins,' or say, 'Get up, take your stretcher, and start walking'? Well, just so it's clear that I'm the Son of Man and authorized to do either, or both . . ." (he looked now at the paraplegic), "Get up. Pick up your stretcher and go home." And the man did it—got up, grabbed his stretcher, and walked out, with everyone there watching him. They rubbed their eyes, incredulous—and then praised God, saying, "We've never seen anything like this!"


Psalm 35:17-28 (The Message)



 17-18 God, how long are you going
      to stand there doing nothing?
   Save me from their brutalities;
      everything I've got is being thrown to the lions.
   I will give you full credit
      when everyone gathers for worship;
   When the people turn out in force
      I will say my Hallelujahs.

 19-21 Don't let these liars, my enemies,
      have a party at my expense,
   Those who hate me for no reason,
      winking and rolling their eyes.
   No good is going to come
      from that crowd;
   They spend all their time cooking up gossip
      against those who mind their own business.
   They open their mouths
      in ugly grins,
   Mocking, "Ha-ha, ha-ha, thought you'd get away with it?
      We've caught you hands down!"

 22 Don't you see what they're doing, God?
      You're not going to let them
   Get by with it, are you? Not going to walk off
      without doing something, are you?

 23-26 Please get up—wake up! Tend to my case.
      My God, my Lord—my life is on the line.
   Do what you think is right, God, my God,
      but don't make me pay for their good time.
   Don't let them say to themselves,
      "Ha-ha, we got what we wanted."
   Don't let them say,
      "We've chewed him up and spit him out."
   Let those who are being hilarious
      at my expense
   Be made to look ridiculous.
      Make them wear donkey's ears;
   Pin them with the donkey's tail,
      who made themselves so high and mighty!

 27-28 But those who want
      the best for me,
   Let them have the last word—a glad shout!—
      and say, over and over and over,
   "God is great—everything works
      together for good for his servant."
   I'll tell the world how great and good you are,
      I'll shout Hallelujah all day, every day. 


Proverbs 9:13-18 (The Message)

Madame Whore Calls Out, Too
 13-18 Then there's this other woman, Madame Whore—
   brazen, empty-headed, frivolous.
She sits on the front porch
   of her house on Main Street,
And as people walk by minding
   their own business, calls out,
"Are you confused about life, don't know what's going on?
   Steal off with me, I'll show you a good time!
   No one will ever know—I'll give you the time of your life."
But they don't know about all the skeletons in her closet,
   that all her guests end up in hell.
 

 
Verse of the Day

 “For this is the original message we heard: We should love each other.” - 1 John 3:11
Today's passage is from the The Message.

Related imageThought for the Day

British historian and academic, G. M. Trevelyan wrote, “Never tell a young person that anything cannot be done. God may have been waiting centuries for someone ignorant enough of the impossible to do that very thing.”

Image result for my husband thinks he's a refrigeratorA Joke for Today

A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, ''Doctor, you've got to do something about my husband -- he thinks he's a refrigerator!''

''I wouldn't worry too much about it,'' the doctor replies. 'Lots of people have harmless delusions. It will pass.''

''But you don't understand,'' the woman insists. ''He sleeps with his mouth open, and the little light keeps me awake.''

Thursday, February 15, 2018

Bible Readings for February 15, 2018


Today our passages are Exodus 39:1–40:38; Mark 1:1-28; Psalm 35:1-16; and Proverbs 9:11-12. The readings are from The Message by Eugene H. PetersonIf you find these readings helpful, please consider sending an offering directly to Cove Presbyterian Church, 3404 Main Street, Weirton, West Virginia or through PayPal by using the link below.
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Exodus 39-40:38 (The Message)


Exodus 39


 1 Vestments. Using the blue, purple, and scarlet fabrics, they made the woven vestments for ministering in the Sanctuary. Also they made the sacred vestments for Aaron, as God had commanded Moses.  2-5 Ephod. They made the Ephod using gold and blue, purple, and scarlet fabrics and finely twisted linen. They hammered out gold leaf and sliced it into threads that were then worked into designs in the blue, purple, and scarlet fabric and fine linen. They made shoulder pieces fastened at the two ends. The decorated band was made of the same material—gold, blue, purple, and scarlet material, and of fine twisted linen—and of one piece with it, just as God had commanded Moses.
 6-7 They mounted the onyx stones in a setting of filigreed gold and engraved the names of the sons of Israel on them, then fastened them on the shoulder pieces of the Ephod as memorial stones for the Israelites, just as God had commanded Moses.
 8-10 Breastpiece. They made a Breastpiece designed like the Ephod from gold, blue, purple, and scarlet material, and fine twisted linen. Doubled, the Breastpiece was nine inches square. They mounted four rows of precious gemstones on it.
   First row: carnelian, topaz, emerald.
 11 Second row: ruby, sapphire, crystal.
 12 Third row: jacinth, agate, amethyst.
 13-14 Fourth row: beryl, onyx, jasper.
    The stones were mounted in a gold filigree. The twelve stones corresponded to the names of the sons of Israel, twelve names engraved as on a seal, one for each of the twelve tribes.
 15-21 They made braided chains of pure gold for the Breastpiece, like cords. They made two settings of gold filigree and two rings of gold, put the two rings at the two ends of the Breastpiece, and fastened the two ends of the cords to the two rings at the end of the Breastpiece. Then they fastened the cords to the settings of filigree, attaching them to the shoulder pieces of the Ephod in front. Then they made two rings of gold and fastened them to the two ends of the Breastpiece on its inside edge facing the Ephod. They made two more rings of gold and fastened them in the front of the Ephod to the lower part of the two shoulder pieces, near the seam above the decorated band of the Ephod. The Breastpiece was fastened by running a cord of blue through its rings to the rings of the Ephod so that it rested secure on the decorated band of the Ephod and wouldn't come loose, just as God had commanded Moses.
 22-26 Robe. They made the robe for the Ephod entirely of blue. The opening of the robe at the center was like a collar, the edge hemmed so that it wouldn't tear. On the hem of the robe they made pomegranates of blue, purple, and scarlet material and fine twisted linen. They also made bells of pure gold and alternated the bells and pomegranates—a bell and a pomegranate, a bell and a pomegranate—all around the hem of the robe that was worn for ministering, just as God had commanded Moses.
 27-29 They also made the tunics of fine linen, the work of a weaver, for Aaron and his sons, the turban of fine linen, the linen hats, the linen underwear made of fine twisted linen, and sashes of fine twisted linen, blue, purple, and scarlet material and embroidered, just as God had commanded Moses.
 30-31 They made the plate, the sacred crown, of pure gold and engraved on it as on a seal: "Holy to God." They attached a blue cord to it and fastened it to the turban, just as God had commanded Moses.
 32 That completed the work of The Dwelling, the Tent of Meeting. The People of Israel did what God had commanded Moses. They did it all.
 33-41 They presented The Dwelling to Moses, the Tent and all its furnishings:

   fastening hooks
   frames
   crossbars
   posts
   bases
   tenting of tanned ram skins
   tenting of dolphin skins
   veil of the screen
   Chest of The Testimony
      with its poles
      and Atonement-Cover
   Table
      with its utensils
      and the Bread of the Presence
   Lampstand of pure gold
      and its lamps all fitted out
      and all its utensils
      and the oil for the light
   Gold Altar
   anointing oil
   fragrant incense
   screen for the entrance to the Tent
   Bronze Altar
      with its bronze grate
      its poles and all its utensils
   Washbasin
      and its base
   hangings for the Courtyard
      its posts and bases
   screen for the gate of the Courtyard
      its cords and its pegs
   utensils for ministry in The Dwelling, the Tent of Meeting
      woven vestments for ministering in the Sanctuary
   sacred vestments for Aaron the priest,
      and his sons when serving as priests
 42-43 The Israelites completed all the work, just as God had commanded. Moses saw that they had done all the work and done it exactly as God had commanded. Moses blessed them. 

Exodus 40

"Moses Finished the Work"
 1-3 God spoke to Moses: "On the first day of the first month, set up The Dwelling, the Tent of Meeting. Place the Chest of The Testimony in it and screen the Chest with the curtain.
4 "Bring in the Table and set it, arranging its Lampstand and lamps. 5 "Place the Gold Altar of Incense before the Chest of The Testimony and hang the curtain at the door of The Dwelling.  6 "Place the Altar of Whole-Burnt-Offering at the door of The Dwelling, the Tent of Meeting.
 7 "Place the Washbasin between the Tent of Meeting and the Altar and fill it with water.
 8 "Set up the Courtyard on all sides and hang the curtain at the entrance to the Courtyard.
 9-11 "Then take the anointing oil and anoint The Dwelling and everything in it; consecrate it and all its furnishings so that it becomes holy. Anoint the Altar of Whole-Burnt-Offering and all its utensils, consecrating the Altar so that it is completely holy. Anoint the Washbasin and its base: consecrate it.
 12-15 "Finally, bring Aaron and his sons to the entrance of the Tent of Meeting and wash them with water. Dress Aaron in the sacred vestments. Anoint him. Consecrate him to serve me as priest. Bring his sons and put tunics on them. Anoint them, just as you anointed their father, to serve me as priests. Their anointing will bring them into a perpetual priesthood, down through the generations."
 16 Moses did everything God commanded. He did it all.
 17-19 On the first day of the first month of the second year, The Dwelling was set up. Moses set it up: He laid its bases, erected the frames, placed the crossbars, set the posts, spread the tent over The Dwelling, and put the covering over the tent, just as God had commanded Moses.
 20-21 He placed The Testimony in the Chest, inserted the poles for carrying the Chest, and placed the lid, the Atonement-Cover, on it. He brought the Chest into The Dwelling and set up the curtain, screening off the Chest of The Testimony, just as God had commanded Moses.
 22-23 He placed the Table in the Tent of Meeting on the north side of The Dwelling, outside the curtain, and arranged the Bread there before God, just as God had commanded him.
 24-25 He placed the Lampstand in the Tent of Meeting opposite the Table on the south side of The Dwelling and set up the lamps before God, just as God had commanded him.
 26-27 Moses placed the Gold Altar in the Tent of Meeting in front of the curtain and burned fragrant incense on it, just as God had commanded him.
 28 He placed the screen at the entrance to The Dwelling.
 29 He set the Altar of Whole-Burnt-Offering at the door of The Dwelling, the Tent of Meeting, and offered up the Whole-Burnt-Offerings and the Grain-Offerings, just as God had commanded Moses.
 30-32 He placed the Washbasin between the Tent of Meeting and the Altar, and filled it with water for washing. Moses and Aaron and his sons washed their hands and feet there. When they entered the Tent of Meeting and when they served at the Altar, they washed, just as God had commanded Moses.
 33 Finally, he erected the Courtyard all around The Dwelling and the Altar, and put up the screen for the Courtyard entrance.
   Moses finished the work.
 34-35 The Cloud covered the Tent of Meeting, and the Glory of God filled The Dwelling. Moses couldn't enter the Tent of Meeting because the Cloud was upon it, and the Glory of God filled The Dwelling.
 36-38 Whenever the Cloud lifted from The Dwelling, the People of Israel set out on their travels, but if the Cloud did not lift, they wouldn't set out until it did lift. The Cloud of God was over The Dwelling during the day and the fire was in it at night, visible to all the Israelites in all their travels.


Mark 1:1-28 (The Message)


Mark 1

John the Baptizer

   The good news of Jesus Christ—the Message!—begins here, following to the letter the scroll of the prophet Isaiah.

   Watch closely: I'm sending my preacher ahead of you;
   He'll make the road smooth for you.
   Thunder in the desert!
   Prepare for God's arrival!
   Make the road smooth and straight!
 4-6John the Baptizer appeared in the wild, preaching a baptism of life-change that leads to forgiveness of sins. People thronged to him from Judea and Jerusalem and, as they confessed their sins, were baptized by him in the Jordan River into a changed life. John wore a camel-hair habit, tied at the waist with a leather belt. He ate locusts and wild field honey.
 7-8As he preached he said, "The real action comes next: The star in this drama, to whom I'm a mere stagehand, will change your life. I'm baptizing you here in the river, turning your old life in for a kingdom life. His baptism—a holy baptism by the Holy Spirit—will change you from the inside out."
 9-11At this time, Jesus came from Nazareth in Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan. The moment he came out of the water, he saw the sky split open and God's Spirit, looking like a dove, come down on him. Along with the Spirit, a voice: "You are my Son, chosen and marked by my love, pride of my life."
God's Kingdom Is Here
 12-13At once, this same Spirit pushed Jesus out into the wild. For forty wilderness days and nights he was tested by Satan. Wild animals were his companions, and angels took care of him.
 14-15After John was arrested, Jesus went to Galilee preaching the Message of God: "Time's up! God's kingdom is here. Change your life and believe the Message."
 16-18Passing along the beach of Lake Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew net-fishing. Fishing was their regular work. Jesus said to them, "Come with me. I'll make a new kind of fisherman out of you. I'll show you how to catch men and women instead of perch and bass." They didn't ask questions. They dropped their nets and followed.
 19-20A dozen yards or so down the beach, he saw the brothers James and John, Zebedee's sons. They were in the boat, mending their fishnets. Right off, he made the same offer. Immediately, they left their father Zebedee, the boat, and the hired hands, and followed.
Confident Teaching
 21-22Then they entered Capernaum. When the Sabbath arrived, Jesus lost no time in getting to the meeting place. He spent the day there teaching. They were surprised at his teaching—so forthright, so confident—not quibbling and quoting like the religion scholars.
 23-24Suddenly, while still in the meeting place, he was interrupted by a man who was deeply disturbed and yelling out, "What business do you have here with us, Jesus? Nazarene! I know what you're up to! You're the Holy One of God, and you've come to destroy us!"
 25-26Jesus shut him up: "Quiet! Get out of him!" The afflicting spirit threw the man into spasms, protesting loudly—and got out.
 27-28Everyone there was incredulous, buzzing with curiosity. "What's going on here? A new teaching that does what it says? He shuts up defiling, demonic spirits and sends them packing!" News of this traveled fast and was soon all over Galilee.


Psalm 35:1-16 (The Message)


Psalm 35

A David Psalm
 1-3 Harass these hecklers, God, punch these bullies in the nose.
   Grab a weapon, anything at hand;
      stand up for me!
   Get ready to throw the spear, aim the javelin,
      at the people who are out to get me.
   Reassure me; let me hear you say,
      "I'll save you."

 4-8 When those thugs try to knife me in the back,
      make them look foolish.
   Frustrate all those
      who are plotting my downfall.
   Make them like cinders in a high wind,
      with God's angel working the bellows.
   Make their road lightless and mud-slick,
      with God's angel on their tails.
   Out of sheer cussedness they set a trap to catch me;
      for no good reason they dug a ditch to stop me.
   Surprise them with your ambush—
      catch them in the very trap they set,
      the disaster they planned for me.

 9-10 But let me run loose and free,
      celebrating God's great work,
   Every bone in my body laughing, singing, "God,
      there's no one like you.
   You put the down-and-out on their feet
      and protect the unprotected from bullies!"

 11-12 Hostile accusers appear out of nowhere,
      they stand up and badger me.
   They pay me back misery for mercy,
      leaving my soul empty.

 13-14 When they were sick, I dressed in black;
      instead of eating, I prayed.
   My prayers were like lead in my gut,
      like I'd lost my best friend, my brother.
   I paced, distraught as a motherless child,
      hunched and heavyhearted.

 15-16 But when I was down
      they threw a party!
   All the nameless riffraff of the town came
      chanting insults about me.
   Like barbarians desecrating a shrine,
      they destroyed my reputation.

Proverbs 9:11-12 (The Message)



 7-12 If you reason with an arrogant cynic, you'll get slapped in the face;
   confront bad behavior and get a kick in the shins.
So don't waste your time on a scoffer;
   all you'll get for your pains is abuse.
But if you correct those who care about life,
   that's different—they'll love you for it!
Save your breath for the wise—they'll be wiser for it;
   tell good people what you know—they'll profit from it.
Skilled living gets its start in the Fear-of-God,
   insight into life from knowing a Holy God.
It's through me, Lady Wisdom, that your life deepens,
   and the years of your life ripen.
Live wisely and wisdom will permeate your life;
   mock life and life will mock you.


Verse of the Day

“Real love isn't our love for God, but his love for us. God sent his Son to be the sacrifice by which our sins are forgiven.” - 1 John 4:10
Today's passage is from the Contemporary English Version.

Image result for Abraham ClarkThought for the Day
American politician and Revolutionary War figure, Abraham Clark wrote, “Our fates are in the hands of An Almighty God, to whom I can with pleasure confide my own; he can save us, or destroy us; his Councils are fixed and cannot be disappointed, and all his designs will be Accomplished.”

A Joke for the Day

Related imageA man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. 

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, "You are in charge of the cooking around here so you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides it says in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that! Show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says, "HEBREWS."