A Thought from the Word

A brief thought based on Isaiah 26:3 - The Lord gives perfect peace to those whose faith is firm.

Bible Readings for August 28, 2019

Today our passages are Job 28:1–30:31; 2 Corinthians 2:12-17; Psalm 42:1-11; and Proverbs 22:7. The readings are from the Contemporary English Version. If you find these readings helpful, please consider sending an offering directly to Cove Presbyterian Church, 3404 Main Street, Weirton, West Virginia or through PayPal by using the link below.

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Job 28-30:31 (Contemporary English Version)

Job 28

Job Continues

Gold and Silver Are Mined

 ¹Gold and silver are mined,    then purified; 
    ²the same is done 
   with iron and copper. 
    ³Miners carry lanterns 
   deep into the darkness 
   to search for these metals. 
    ⁴They dig tunnels 
   in distant, unknown places, 
   where they dangle by ropes. 
    ⁵Far beneath the grain fields, 
   fires are built 
   to break loose those rocks 
    ⁶that have jewels or gold. ^[a] ⁷Miners go to places unseen 
   by the eyes of hawks; 
    ⁸they walk on soil unknown 
   to the proudest lions. 
    ⁹With their own hands 
   they remove sharp rocks 
   and uproot mountains. 
    ¹⁰They dig through the rocks 
   in search of jewels 
   and precious metals. 
    ¹¹They also uncover 
   the sources of ^[b] rivers and discover secret places.     

Where Is Wisdom Found?

 ¹²But where is wisdom found?     ¹³No human knows the way. ^[c] ¹⁴Nor can it be discovered 
   in the deepest sea. 
    ¹⁵It is worth much more 
   than silver or pure gold 
    ¹⁶or precious stones. 
    ¹⁷Nothing is its equal-- 
   not gold or costly glass. ^[d] ¹⁸Wisdom is worth much more than 
   coral, jasper, ^[e] or rubies. ¹⁹All the topaz ^[f] of Ethiopia ^[g] and the finest gold 
   cannot compare with it. 
    ²⁰Where then is wisdom? 
    ²¹It is hidden from human eyes 
   and even from birds. 
    ²²Death and destruction 
   have merely heard rumors 
   about where it is found. 
    ²³God is the only one who knows 
   the way to wisdom, 
    ²⁴because he sees everything 
   beneath the heavens. 
    ²⁵When God divided out 
   the wind and the water, 
    ²⁶and when he decided the path 
   for rain and lightning, 
    ²⁷he also determined the truth 
   and defined wisdom. 
    ²⁸God told us, "Wisdom means 
   that you respect me, the Lord, 
   and turn from sin." 
    

Job 29

Job Continues

I Long for the Past

 ¹Job said:     ²I long for the past, 
   when God took care of me, 
    ³and the light from his lamp 
   showed me the way 
   through the dark. 
    ⁴I was in the prime of life, 
   God All-Powerful 
   was my closest friend, 
    ⁵and all of my children 
   were nearby. 
    ⁶My herds gave enough milk 
   to bathe my feet, 
   and from my olive harvest 
   flowed rivers of oil. 
    ⁷When I sat down at the meeting 
   of the city council, 
    ⁸the young leaders stepped aside, 
    ⁹while the older ones stood 
    ¹⁰and remained silent.     

Everyone Was Pleased

 ¹¹Everyone was pleased    with what I said and did. 
    ¹²When poor people or orphans 
   cried out for help, 
   I came to their rescue. 
    ¹³And I was highly praised 
   for my generosity to widows 
   and others in poverty. 
    ¹⁴Kindness and justice 
   were my coat and hat; 
    ¹⁵I was good to the blind 
   and to the lame. 
    ¹⁶I was a father to the needy, 
   and I defended them in court, 
   even if they were strangers. 
    ¹⁷When criminals attacked, 
   I broke their teeth 
   and set their victims free. 
    ¹⁸I felt certain that I would live 
   a long and happy life, 
   then die in my own bed. 
    ¹⁹In those days I was strong 
   like a tree with deep roots 
   and with plenty of water, 
    ²⁰or like an archer's new bow. 
    ²¹Everyone listened in silence 
   to my welcome advice, 
    ²²and when I finished speaking, 
   nothing needed to be said. 
    ²³My words were eagerly accepted 
   like the showers of spring, 
    ²⁴and the smile on my face 
   renewed everyone's hopes. 
    ²⁵My advice was followed 
   as though I were a king 
   leading my troops, 
   or someone comforting 
   those in sorrow. 
    

Job 30

Job Continues

Young People Now Insult Me

 ¹Young people now insult me,    although their fathers 
   would have been a disgrace 
   to my sheep dogs. 
    ²And those who insult me 
   are helpless themselves. 
    ³They must claw the desert sand 
   in the dark 
   for something 
   to satisfy their hunger. ^[h] ⁴They gather tasteless shrubs 
   for food and firewood, 
    ⁵and they are run out of towns, 
   as though they were thieves. 
    ⁶Their only homes are ditches 
   or holes between rocks, 
    ⁷where they bray like donkeys 
   gathering around shrubs. 
    ⁸And like senseless donkeys 
   they are chased away.     

Those Worthless Nobodies

 ⁹Those worthless nobodies    make up jokes and songs 
   to disgrace me. 
    ¹⁰They are hateful 
   and keep their distance, 
   even while spitting 
   in my direction. 
    ¹¹God has destroyed me, 
   and so they don't care 
   what they do. ^[i] ¹²Their attacks never stop, 
   though I am defenseless, 
   and my feet are trapped. ^[j] ¹³Without any help, 
   they prevent my escape, 
   destroying me completely ^[k] ¹⁴and leaving me crushed. 
    ¹⁵Terror has me surrounded; 
   my reputation and my riches 
   have vanished like a cloud.     

I Am Sick at Heart

 ¹⁶I am sick at heart!    Pain has taken its toll. 
    ¹⁷Night chews on my bones, 
   causing endless torment, 
    ¹⁸and God has shrunk my skin, 
   choking me to death. 
    ¹⁹I have been thrown in the dirt 
   and now am dirt myself. 
    ²⁰I beg God for help, 
   but there is no answer; 
   and when I stand up, 
   he simply stares. 
    ²¹God has turned brutal, 
    ²²stirring up a windstorm 
   to toss me about. 
    ²³Soon he will send me home 
   to the world of the dead, 
   where we all must go. 
    ²⁴No one refuses help to others, 
   when disaster strikes. ^[l] ²⁵I mourned for the poor 
   and those who suffered. 
    ²⁶But when I beg for relief 
   and light, 
   all I receive are disaster 
   and darkness. 
    ²⁷My stomach is tied in knots; 
   pain is my daily companion. 
    ²⁸Suffering has scorched my skin, 
   and in the city council 
   I stand and cry out, 
    ²⁹making mournful sounds 
   like jackals ^[m] and owls. ³⁰My skin is so parched, 
   that it peels right off, 
   and my bones are burning. 
    ³¹My only songs are sorrow 
   and sadness. 
    

Footnotes:

1. Job 28:6 gold: One possible meaning for the difficult Hebrew text of verses 5,6.
2. Job 28:11 uncover the sources of: Two ancient translations; Hebrew "dam up."
3. Job 28:13 the way: Or "its worth."
4. Job 28:17 costly glass: In the ancient world, objects made of glass were costly.
5. Job 28:18 jasper: A valuable stone, usually green or clear.
6. Job 28:19 topaz: A valuable, yellow stone.
7. Job 28:19 Ethiopia: The Hebrew text has "Cush," which was a region south of Egypt that included parts of the present countries of Ethiopia and Sudan.
8. Job 30:3 hunger: One possible meaning for the difficult Hebrew text of verse 3.
9. Job 30:11 God. . . do: Or "They have destroyed me, and so they don't care what else they do."
10. Job 30:12 trapped: One possible meaning for the difficult Hebrew text of verse 12.
11. Job 30:13 destroying. . . completely: One possible meaning for the difficult Hebrew text.
12. Job 30:24 strikes: One possible meaning for the difficult Hebrew text of verse 24.
13. Job 30:29 jackals: Desert animals related to wolves, but smaller.

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2 Corinthians 2:12-17 (Contemporary English Version)

¹²When I went to Troas to preach the good news about Christ, I found that the Lord had already prepared the way.¹³But I was worried when I didn't find my friend Titus there. So I left the other followers and went on to Macedonia. 
    ¹⁴I am grateful that God always makes it possible for Christ to lead us to victory. God also helps us spread the knowledge about Christ everywhere, and this knowledge is like the smell of perfume. ^15-16In fact, God thinks of us as a perfume that brings Christ to everyone. For people who are being saved, this perfume has a sweet smell and leads them to a better life. But for people who are lost, it has a bad smell and leads them to a horrible death. 
   No one really has what it takes to do this work. ¹⁷A lot of people try to get rich from preaching God's message. But we are God's sincere messengers, and by the power of Christ we speak our message with God as our witness. 

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Psalm 42:1-11 (Contemporary English Version)

Psalm 42

BOOK II

(Psalms 42-72)

(A special psalm for the people of Korah and for the music leader.)

Longing for God

 ¹As a deer gets thirsty    for streams of water, 
   I truly am thirsty 
   for you, my God. 
    ²In my heart, I am thirsty 
   for you, the living God. 
   When will I see your face? 
    ³Day and night my tears 
   are my only food, 
   as everyone keeps asking, 
   "Where is your God?" 
    ⁴Sorrow floods my heart, 
   when I remember 
   leading the worshipers 
   to your house. ^[a] I can still hear them shout 
   their joyful praises. 
    ⁵Why am I discouraged? 
   Why am I restless? 
   I trust you! 
   And I will praise you again 
   because you help me, 
    ⁶and you are my God. 
   I am deeply discouraged 
   as I think about you 
   from where the Jordan begins 
   at Mount Hermon 
   and from Mount Mizar. ^[b] ⁷Your vicious waves 
   have swept over me 
   like an angry ocean 
   or a roaring waterfall. 
    ⁸Every day, you are kind, 
   and at night 
   you give me a song 
   as my prayer to you, 
   the living LORD God. 
    ⁹You are my mighty rock. ^[c] Why have you forgotten me? 
   Why must enemies mistreat me 
   and make me sad? 
    ¹⁰Even my bones are in pain, 
   while all day long 
   my enemies sneer and ask, 
   "Where is your God?" 
    ¹¹Why am I discouraged? 
   Why am I restless? 
   I trust you! 
   And I will praise you again 
   because you help me, 
   and you are my God. 
    

Footnotes:

1. Psalm 42:4 leading. . . house: One possible meaning for the difficult Hebrew text.
2. Psalm 42:6 Mount Mizar: The location is not known.
3. Psalm 42:9 mighty rock: See the note at 18.2.

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Proverbs 22:7 (Contemporary English Version)

⁷The poor are ruled by the rich,
   and those who borrow
   are slaves of moneylenders. 

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Verse of the Day

“Jesus answered, "God wants you to have faith in the one he sent.” - John 6:29 

Today's passage is from the Contemporary English Version.

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Thought for the Day

American novelist and academic, Marguerite Young wrote, “I think most people don't like others who, without a voice of their own, emulate the other. I certainly don't want anybody just to pick up my thoughts and hand them back to me.”

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A Joke for Today

A guy walks into a bar...........

He orders a drink........... after a few.......... he must visit the john.

he does not want anyone to steal his drink. so he puts a sign on it. saying, , " I SPIT IN THIS BEER, DO NOT DRINK'.

After a few minutes he returns........... There is another sign next to his beer, saying, SO DID I.

A Thought from the Word

A brief thought based on Romans 12:4-5 - A body is made up of many parts, and each of them has its own use. That's how it is with us. There are many of us, but we each are part of the body of Christ, as well as part of one another.

Bible Readings for August 27, 2019

Today our passages are Job 23:1–27:23; 2 Corinthians 1:12–2:11; Psalm 41:1-13; and Proverbs 22:5-6. The readings are from the Contemporary English Version. If you find these readings helpful, please consider sending an offering directly to Cove Presbyterian Church, 3404 Main Street, Weirton, West Virginia or through PayPal by using the link below.

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Job 23-27:23 (Contemporary English Version)

Job 23

Job's Reply to Eliphaz

Today I Complain Bitterly

 ¹Job said:     ²Today I complain bitterly,
   because God has been cruel
   and made me suffer.
    ³If I knew where to find God,
   I would go there
    ⁴and argue my case.
    ⁵Then I would discover
   what he wanted to say.
    ⁶Would he overwhelm me
   with his greatness?
   No! He would listen
    ⁷because I am innocent,
   and he would say,
   "I now set you free!"
    ⁸I cannot find God anywhere--
   in front or back of me,
    ⁹to my left or my right.
   God is always at work,
   though I never see him.
    ¹⁰But he knows what I am doing,
   and when he tests me,
   I will be pure as gold.
    ¹¹I have never refused to follow
   any of his commands,
    ¹²and I have always treasured
   his teachings. ^[a] ¹³But he alone is God,
   and who can oppose him?
   God does as he pleases,
    ¹⁴and he will do exactly
   what he intends with me.
    ¹⁵Merely the thought
   of God All-Powerful
    ¹⁶makes me tremble with fear.
    ¹⁷God has covered me
   with darkness,
   but I refuse to be silent. ^[b] 

Job 24

Job Continues

Why Doesn't God Set a Time?

 ¹Why doesn't God    set a time for court?
   Why don't his people know
   where he can be found?
    ²Sinners remove boundary markers
   and take care of sheep
   they have stolen.
    ³They cheat orphans and widows
   by taking their donkeys
   and oxen.
    ⁴The poor are trampled
   and forced to hide
    ⁵in the desert,
   where they and their children
   must live like wild donkeys
   and search for food.
    ⁶If they want grain or grapes, ^[c] they must go to the property
   of these sinners.
    ⁷They sleep naked in the cold,
   because they have no cover,
    ⁸and during a storm
   their only shelters are caves
   among the rocky cliffs.
    ⁹Children whose fathers have died
   are taken from their mothers
   as payment for a debt.
    ¹⁰Then they are forced to work
   naked in the grain fields
   because they have no clothes,
   and they go hungry.
    ¹¹They crush olives to make oil
   and grapes to make wine--
   but still they go thirsty.
    ¹²And along the city streets,
   the wounded and dying cry out,
   yet God does nothing.     

Some Reject the Light

 ¹³Some rebel and refuse    to follow the light.
    ¹⁴Soon after sunset they murder
   the poor and the needy,
   and at night they steal.
    ¹⁵Others wait for the dark,
   thinking they won't be seen
   if they sleep with the wife
   or husband of someone else.
    ¹⁶Robbers hide during the day,
   then break in after dark
   because they reject the light.
    ¹⁷They prefer night to day,
   since the terrors of the night
   are their friends.     

Sinners Are Filthy Foam

 ¹⁸Those sinners are filthy foam    on the surface of the water.
   And so, their fields and vineyards
   will fall under a curse
   and won't produce.
    ¹⁹Just as the heat of summer
   swallows the snow,
   the world of the dead
   swallows those who sin.
    ²⁰Forgotten here on earth,
   and with their power broken,
   they taste sweet to worms.
    ²¹Sinners take advantage of widows
   and other helpless women. ^[d] ²²But God's mighty strength
   destroys those in power.
   Even if they seem successful,
   they are doomed to fail.
    ²³God may let them feel secure,
   but they are never
   out of his sight.
    ²⁴Great for a while; gone forever!
   Sinners are mowed down
   like weeds,
   then they wither and die.
    ²⁵If I haven't spoken the truth,
   then prove me wrong.
    

Job 25

Bildad's Third Speech

God Is the One To Fear

 ¹Bildad from Shuah ^[e] said: ²God is the one to fear,    because God is in control
   and rules the heavens.
    ³Who can count his army of stars?
   Isn't God the source of light?
    ⁴How can anyone be innocent
   in the sight of God?
    ⁵To him, not even the light
   of the moon and stars
   can ever be pure.
    ⁶So how can we humans,
   when we are merely worms?
    

Job 26

Job's Reply to Bildad

You Have Really Been Helpful

 ¹Job said:     ²You have really been helpful
   to someone weak and weary.
    ³You have given great advice
   and wonderful wisdom
   to someone truly in need.
    ⁴How can anyone possibly speak
   with such understanding?
    ⁵Remember the terrible trembling
   of those in the world of the dead
   below the mighty ocean.
    ⁶Nothing in that land
   of death and destruction
   is hidden from God,
    ⁷who hung the northern sky
   and suspended the earth
   on empty space.
    ⁸God stores water in clouds,
   but they don't burst,
    ⁹and he wraps them around
   the face of the moon.
    ¹⁰On the surface of the ocean,
   God has drawn a boundary line
   between light and darkness.
    ¹¹And columns supporting the sky
   tremble at his command.
    ¹²By his power and wisdom,
   God conquered the force
   of the mighty ocean. ^[f] ¹³The heavens became bright
   when he breathed,
   and the escaping sea monster ^[g] died at the hands of God.
    ¹⁴These things are merely a whisper
   of God's power at work.
   How little we would understand
   if this whisper
   ever turned into thunder!
    

Job 27

Job Continues

I Am Desperate

 ¹Job said:     ²I am desperate because
   God All-Powerful
   refuses
   to do what is right.
   As surely as God lives,
    ³and while he gives me breath,
    ⁴I will tell only the truth.
    ⁵Until the day I die,
   I will refuse to do wrong
   by saying you are right,
    ⁶because each day my conscience
   agrees that I am innocent.
    ⁷I pray that my enemies
   will suffer no less
   than the wicked.
    ⁸Such people are hopeless,
   and God All-Powerful
   will cut them down,
    ⁹without listening
   when they beg for mercy.
    ¹⁰And that is what God should do,
   because they don't like him
   or ever pray.
    ¹¹Now I will explain in detail
   what God All-Powerful does.
    ¹²All of you have seen these things
   for yourselves.
   So you have no excuse.     

How God Treats the Wicked

 ¹³Here is how God All-Powerful    treats those who are wicked
   and brutal.
    ¹⁴They may have many children,
   but most of them
   will go hungry
   or suffer a violent death.
    ¹⁵Others will die of disease,
   and their widows
   won't be able to weep.
    ¹⁶The wicked may collect riches
   and clothes in abundance
   as easily as clay.
    ¹⁷But God's people will wear
   clothes taken from them
   and divide up their riches.
    ¹⁸No homes built by the wicked
   will outlast a cocoon
   or a shack.
    ¹⁹Those sinners may go to bed rich,
   but they will wake up poor. ^[h] ²⁰Terror will strike at night
   like a flood or a storm.
    ²¹Then a scorching wind
   will sweep them away
    ²²without showing mercy,
   as they try to escape.
    ²³At last, the wind will celebrate
   because they are gone.
    

Footnotes:

1. Job 23:12 treasured his teachings: One possible meaning for the difficult Hebrew text.
2. Job 23:17 silent: One possible meaning for the difficult Hebrew text of verse 17.
3. Job 24:6 If they want grain or grapes: Poor people were allowed to gather what was left in the fields and vineyards after the harvest.
4. Job 24:21 women: One possible meaning for the difficult Hebrew text of verse 21.
5. Job 25:1 Shuah: See the note at 2.11.
6. Job 26:12 the force of the mighty ocean: The Hebrew text has "the ocean. . . Rahab." In this passage the sea monster Rahab stands for the fearsome power of the ocean (see the notes at 3.8 and 9.13).
7. Job 26:13 sea monster: The Hebrew text has "snake," which probably stands for some kind of fearsome sea monster, such as Leviathan (see Isaiah 27.1).
8. Job 27:19 poor: Or "dead."

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2 Corinthians 1:12-2:11 (Contemporary English Version)

Paul's Change of Plans

 ¹²We can be proud of our clear conscience. We have always lived honestly and sincerely, especially when we were with you. And we were guided by God's wonderful kindness instead of by the wisdom of this world. ¹³I am not writing anything you cannot read and understand. I hope you will understand it completely, ¹⁴just as you already partly understand us. Then when our Lord Jesus returns, you can be as proud of us as we are of you.     ¹⁵I was so sure of your pride in us that I had planned to visit you first of all. In this way you would have the blessing of two visits from me. ¹⁶Once on my way to Macedonia and again on my return from there. Then you could send me on to Judea. ¹⁷Do you think I couldn't make up my mind about what to do? Or do I seem like someone who says "Yes" or "No" simply to please others? ¹⁸God can be trusted, and so can I, when I say that our answer to you has always been "Yes" and never "No." ¹⁹This is because Jesus Christ the Son of God is always "Yes" and never "No." And he is the one that Silas, ^[a] Timothy, and I told you about. ²⁰Christ says "Yes" to all of God's promises. That's why we have Christ to say "Amen" ^[b] for us to the glory of God. ²¹And so God makes it possible for you and us to stand firmly together with Christ. God is also the one who chose us ²²and put his Spirit in our hearts to show that we belong only to him. ²³God is my witness that I stayed away from Corinth, just to keep from being hard on you. ²⁴We are not bosses who tell you what to believe. We are working with you to make you glad, because your faith is strong.
    

2 Corinthians 2

 ¹I have decided not to make my next visit with you so painful. ²If I make you feel bad, who would be left to cheer me up, except the people I had made to feel bad? ³The reason I want to be happy is to make you happy. I wrote as I did because I didn't want to visit you and be made to feel bad, when you should make me feel happy. ⁴At the time I wrote, I was suffering terribly. My eyes were full of tears, and my heart was broken. But I didn't want to make you feel bad. I only wanted to let you know how much I cared for you.     

Forgiveness

 ⁵I don't want to be hard on you. But if one of you has made someone feel bad, I am not really the one who has been made to feel bad. Some of you are the ones. ⁶Most of you have already pointed out the wrong that person did, and that is punishment enough for what was done.     ⁷When people sin, you should forgive and comfort them, so they won't give up in despair. ⁸You should make them sure of your love for them.
    ⁹I also wrote because I wanted to test you and find out if you would follow my instructions. ¹⁰I will forgive anyone you forgive. Yes, for your sake and with Christ as my witness, I have forgiven whatever needed to be forgiven. ¹¹I have done this to keep Satan from getting the better of us. We all know what goes on in his mind.
    

Footnotes:

1. 2 Corinthians 1:19 Silas: The Greek text has "Silvanus," which is another form of the name Silas.
2. 2 Corinthians 1:20 Amen: The word "amen" is used here with the meaning of "yes."

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Psalm 41:1-13 (Contemporary English Version)

Psalm 41

(A psalm by David for the music leader.)

A Prayer in Time of Sickness

 ¹You, LORD God, bless everyone    who cares for the poor,
   and you rescue those people
   in times of trouble.
    ²You protect them
   and keep them alive.
   You make them happy here
   in this land,
   and you don't hand them over
   to their enemies.
    ³You always heal them
   and restore their strength
   when they are sick.
    ⁴I prayed, "Have pity, LORD!
   Heal me,
   though I have sinned
   against you."
    ⁵My vicious enemies ask me,
   "When will you die
   and be forgotten?"
    ⁶When visitors come,
   all they ever bring
   are worthless words,
   and when they leave,
   they spread gossip.
    ⁷My enemies whisper about me.
   They think the worst,
    ⁸and they say,
   "You have some fatal disease!
   You'll never get well."
    ⁹My most trusted friend
   has turned against me,
   though he ate at my table.
    ¹⁰Have pity, LORD! Heal me,
   so I can pay them back.
    ¹¹Then my enemies
   won't defeat me,
   and I will know
   that you really care.
    ¹²You have helped me
   because I am innocent,
   and you will always
   be close to my side.
    ¹³You, the LORD God of Israel,
   will be praised forever!
   Amen and amen. 

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Proverbs 22:5-6 (Contemporary English Version)

⁵Crooks walk down a road
   full of thorny traps.
   Stay away from there!
    ⁶Teach your children
   right from wrong,
   and when they are grown
   they will still do right. 

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Verse of the Day

“The LORD gives perfect peace to those whose faith is firm.” - Isaiah 26:3 

Today's passage is from the Contemporary English Version.

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Thought for the Day 

American visual artist who spent most of his career in Paris, Man Ray wrote, “It has never been my object to record my dreams, just the determination to realize them.”

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A Joke for Today

The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf.

So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish.

Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!

At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?"

The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not." Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. It WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE! St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why did you let him do that?"

The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to tell?"