Read the Bible in a Year

Each day, we'll post passages so that you can read the Bible in one year. This is part of The Colossians 13:16 Project, sponsored by Cove Presbyterian Church, 3404 Main Street, Weirton, West Virginia. You're invited to worship with us Sundays, at 11:00 a.m. or Saturdays, at 6:30 p.m. You may also want to consider joining one our adult Bible Studies: Thursdays at 12:00 noon and Sundays at 9:30 a.m. and 10:00 a.m. We also have a full range of programs for children. If you want more information about the church, check out the other blogs. And please feel free to leave any comments.

The Bible in a Year is a ministry of Cove Presbyterian Church. We need your support to keep posting. If you find it helpful, you can support this blog by your contributions. They may be sent to Cove Presbyterian Church, 3404 Main Street, Weirton, WV 26062. You can also use the PayPal link below:

Image result for paypal donate
Showing posts with label Philippians. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Philippians. Show all posts

Thursday, October 3, 2019

Bible Readings for October 3, 2019

Today our passages are Jeremiah 1:1–2:30; Philippians 4:1-23; Psalm 75:1-10; and Proverbs 24:17-20. The readings are from the Contemporary English VersionIf you find these readings helpful, please consider sending an offering directly to Cove Presbyterian Church, 3404 Main Street, Weirton, West Virginia or through PayPal by using the link below.
https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=NX3WLYQG5864L

Jeremiah 1-2:30 (Contemporary English Version)


Jeremiah 1


 1My name is Jeremiah. I am a priest, and my father Hilkiah and everyone else in my family are from Anathoth in the territory of the Benjamin tribe. This book contains the things that the LORD told me to say. 2The LORD first spoke to me in the thirteenth year that Josiah a] was king of Judah, 3and he continued to speak to me during the rule of Josiah's son Jehoiakim. b] The last time the LORD spoke to me was in the fifth month c] of the eleventh year that Josiah's son Zedekiah d] was king. That was also when the people of Jerusalem were taken away as prisoners.
The LORD Chooses Jeremiah
 4The LORD said:    5"Jeremiah, I am your Creator,
   and before you were born,
   I chose you to speak for me
   to the nations."
    6I replied, "I'm not a good speaker, LORD, and I'm too young."
    7"Don't say you're too young," the LORD answered. "If I tell you to go and speak to someone, then go! And when I tell you what to say, don't leave out a word! 8I promise to be with you and keep you safe, so don't be afraid."
    9The LORD reached out his hand, then he touched my mouth and said, "I am giving you the words to say, 10and I am sending you with authority to speak to the nations for me. You will tell them of doom and destruction, and of rising and rebuilding again."
    11The LORD showed me something in a vision. Then he asked, "What do you see, Jeremiah?"
   I answered, "A branch of almonds that ripen early."
    12"That's right," the LORD replied, "and I always rise early e] to keep a promise." 13Then the LORD showed me something else and asked, "What do you see now?"
   I answered, "I see a pot of boiling water in the north, and it's about to spill out toward us."
    14The LORD said:
   I will pour out destruction
   all over the land.
    15Just watch while I send
   for the kings of the north.
   They will attack and capture
   Jerusalem and other towns,
   then set up their thrones
   at the gates of Jerusalem.
    16I will punish my people,
   because they are guilty
   of turning from me
   to worship idols.
    17Jeremiah, get ready!
   Go and tell the people
   what I command you to say.
   Don't be frightened by them,
   or I will make you terrified
   while they watch.
    18My power will make you strong
   like a fortress
   or a column of iron
   or a wall of bronze.
   You will oppose all of Judah,
   including its kings and leaders,
   its priests and people.
    19They will fight back,
   but they won't win.
   I, the LORD, give my word--
   I won't let them harm you.
   

Jeremiah 2

Israel's Unfaithfulness
 1The LORD told me 2to go to Jerusalem and tell everyone that he had said:   When you were my young bride,
   you loved me
   and followed me
   through the barren desert.
    3You belonged to me alone,
   like the first part of the harvest,
   and I severely punished
   those who mistreated you.
    4Listen, people of Israel, f] 5and I, the LORD, will speak.
   I was never unfair
   to your ancestors,
   but they left me
   and became worthless
   by following worthless idols.
    6Your ancestors refused
   to ask for my help,
   though I had rescued them
   from Egypt
   and led them through
   a treacherous, barren desert,
   where no one lives
   or dares to travel.
    7I brought you here to my land,
   where food is abundant,
   but you made my land filthy
   with your sins.
    8The priests who teach my laws
   don't care to know me.
   Your leaders rebel against me;
   your prophets
   give messages from Baal
   and worship false gods.   
The LORD Accuses His People
 9I will take you to court   and accuse you
   and your descendants
    10of a crime that no nation
   has ever committed before.
   Just ask anyone, anywhere,
   from the eastern deserts
   to the islands in the west.
    11You will find that no nation
   has ever abandoned its gods
   even though they were false.
   I am the true and glorious God,
   but you have rejected me
   to worship idols.
    12Tell the heavens
   to tremble with fear!
    13You, my people, have sinned
   in two ways--
   you have rejected me,
   the source
   of life-giving water,
   and you've tried to collect water
   in cracked and leaking pits
   dug in the ground.
    14People of Israel,
   you weren't born slaves;
   you were captured in war.
    15Enemies roared like lions
   and destroyed your land;
   towns lie burned and empty.
    16Soldiers from the Egyptian towns
   of Memphis and Tahpanhes
   have cracked your skulls.
    17It's all your own fault!
   You stopped following me,
   the LORD your God,
    18and you trusted the power
   of Egypt and Assyria. g] 19Your own sins will punish you,
   because it was a bitter mistake
   for you to reject me
   without fear of punishment.
   I, the LORD All-Powerful,
   have spoken.
    20Long ago you left me
   and broke all ties between us,
   refusing to be my servant.
   Now you worship other gods
   by having sex
   on hilltops or in the shade
   of large trees. h] 21You were a choice grapevine,
   but now you produce nothing
   but small, rotten grapes.   
Israel Is Stained with Guilt
 22The LORD said:   People of Israel,
   you are stained with guilt,
   and no soap or bleach
   can wash it away.
    23You deny your sins
   and say, "We aren't unclean.
   We haven't worshiped Baal." i] But think about what you do
   in Hinnom Valley. j] And you run back and forth
   like young camels,
   as you rush to worship one idol
   after another.
    24You are a female donkey
   sniffing the desert air,
   wanting to mate
   with just anyone.
   You are an easy catch!
    25Your shoes are worn out,
   and your throat is parched
   from running here and there
   to worship foreign gods.
   "Stop!" I shouted,
   but you replied, "No!
   I love those gods too much."
    26You and your leaders
   are more disgraceful
   than thieves--
   you and your kings,
   your priests and prophets
    27worship stone idols
   and sacred poles
   as if they had created you
   and had given you life.
   You have rejected me,
   but when you're in trouble,
   you cry to me for help.
    28Go cry to the gods you made!
   There should be enough of them
   to save you,
   because Judah has as many gods
   as it has towns.   
Israel Rebels against the LORD
 29The LORD said to Israel:   You accuse me of not saving you,
   but I say you have rebelled.
    30I tried punishing you,
   but you refused
   to come back to me,
   and like fierce lions
   you killed my prophets. 
Footnotes:
  1. Jeremiah 1:2 Josiah: Ruled 640-609 B.C.
  2. Jeremiah 1:3 Jehoiakim: Ruled 609-598 B.C.
  3. Jeremiah 1:3 fifth month: Ab, the fifth month of the Hebrew calendar, from about mid-July to mid-August.
  4. Jeremiah 1:3 Zedekiah: Ruled 598-586 B.C.
  5. Jeremiah 1:12 almonds. . . rise early: In Hebrew "almonds that ripen early" sounds like "always rise early."
  6. Jeremiah 2:4 Israel: After the nation was divided, the northern kingdom was called "Israel," and the southern kingdom was called "Judah" (see 1 Kings 12.1-20). In 722 B.C. the Assyrians conquered the northern kingdom, and Judah was all that was left. And so in the book of Jeremiah the name "Israel" is most often used of the southern kingdom.
  7. Jeremiah 2:18 trusted. . . Assyria: Hebrew "went to Egypt and drank from the Shihor River, and you went to Assyria and drank from the Euphrates River."
  8. Jeremiah 2:20 having sex. . . trees: In some Canaanite religions, worshipers had sex with temple prostitutes, who represented their gods; many of the Canaanite places of worship were on hilltops or under large trees.
  9. Jeremiah 2:23 Baal: The Hebrew text has "the Baals," probably because the god Baal was believed to be present in different forms at different places of worship.
  10. Jeremiah 2:23 Hinnom Valley: Hebrew "the valley" (see 7.31-32; 19.1-6).

Philippians 4:1-23 (Contemporary English Version)


Philippians 4


 1Dear friends, I love you and long to see you. Please keep on being faithful to the Lord. You are my pride and joy.   
Paul Encourages the Lord's Followers
 2Euodia and Syntyche, you belong to the Lord, so I beg you to stop arguing with each other. 3And, my true partner, a] I ask you to help them. These women have worked together with me and with Clement and with the others in spreading the good news. Their names are now written in the book of life. b] 4Always be glad because of the Lord! I will say it again: Be glad. 5Always be gentle with others. The Lord will soon be here. 6Don't worry about anything, but pray about everything. With thankful hearts offer up your prayers and requests to God. 7Then, because you belong to Christ Jesus, God will bless you with peace that no one can completely understand. And this peace will control the way you think and feel.    8Finally, my friends, keep your minds on whatever is true, pure, right, holy, friendly, and proper. Don't ever stop thinking about what is truly worthwhile and worthy of praise. 9You know the teachings I gave you, and you know what you heard me say and saw me do. So follow my example. And God, who gives peace, will be with you.   
Paul Gives Thanks for the Gifts He Was Given
 10The Lord has made me very grateful that at last you have thought about me once again. Actually, you were thinking about me all along, but you didn't have any chance to show it. 11I am not complaining about having too little. I have learned to be satisfied with c] whatever I have. 12I know what it is to be poor or to have plenty, and I have lived under all kinds of conditions. I know what it means to be full or to be hungry, to have too much or too little.13Christ gives me the strength to face anything. 14It was good of you to help me when I was having such a hard time. 15My friends at Philippi, you remember what it was like when I started preaching the good news in Macedonia. d] After I left there, you were the only church that became my partner by giving blessings and by receiving them in return. 16Even when I was in Thessalonica, you helped me more than once. 17I am not trying to get something from you, but I want you to receive the blessings that come from giving. 18I have been paid back everything, and with interest. I am completely satisfied with the gifts that you had Epaphroditus bring me. They are like a sweet-smelling offering or like the right kind of sacrifice that pleases God. 19I pray that God will take care of all your needs with the wonderful blessings that come from Christ Jesus! 20May God our Father be praised forever and ever. Amen.   
Final Greetings
 21Give my greetings to all who are God's people because of Christ Jesus.   The Lord's followers here with me send you their greetings.
    22All of God's people send their greetings, especially those in the service of the Emperor.
    23I pray that our Lord Jesus Christ will be kind to you and will bless your life! 
Footnotes:
  1. Philippians 4:3 partner: Or "Syzygus," a person's name.
  2. Philippians 4:3 the book of life: A book in which the names of God's people are written.
  3. Philippians 4:11 be satisfied with: Or "get by on."
  4. Philippians 4:15 when I started preaching the good news in Macedonia: Paul is talking about his first visit to Philippi (see Acts 16.12-40).

Psalm 75:1-10 (Contemporary English Version)


Psalm 75

(A psalm and a song by Asaph for the music leader. To the tune "Don't Destroy." (Psalm 75 Don't Destroy: See the note at Psalm 57.) )
Praise God for All He Has Done
 1Our God, we thank you   for being so near to us!
   Everyone celebrates
   your wonderful deeds.
    2You have set a time
   to judge with fairness.
    3The earth trembles,
   and its people shake;
   you alone keep
   its foundations firm.
    4You tell every bragger,
   "Stop bragging!"
   And to the wicked you say,
   "Don't boast of your power!
    5Stop bragging! Quit telling me
   how great you are."
    6Our LORD and our God,
   victory doesn't come
   from the east or the west
   or from the desert.
    7You are the one who judges.
   You can take away power
   and give it to others.
    8You hold in your hand
   a cup filled with wine, a] strong and foaming.
   You will pour out some
   for every sinful person
   on this earth,
   and they will have to drink
   until it is gone.
    9But I will always tell about
   you, the God of Jacob,
   and I will sing your praise.
    10Our Lord, you will destroy
   the power of evil people,
   but you will give strength
   to those who are good. 
Footnotes:
  1. Psalm 75:8 a cup. . . wine: In the Old Testament " a cup filled with wine" sometimes stands for God's anger.

Proverbs 24:17-20 (Contemporary English Version)

-28-
 17 Don't be happy   to see your enemies trip
   and fall down.
    18The LORD will find out
   and be unhappy.
   Then he will stop
   being angry with them.   
-29-
 19 Don't let evil people   worry you
   or make you jealous.
    20They will soon be gone
   like the flame of a lamp
   that burns out.


Verse of the Day

“[A Real Reason for Hope]Praise God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is so good, and by raising Jesus from death, he has given us new life and a hope that lives on.” - 1 Peter 1:3
Today's passage is from the Contemporary English Version.

Portrait of Eleonora Duse.jpgThought for the Day

Italian actress, Eleonora Duse wrote, “If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if a blade of grass springing up in the fields has power to move you, if the simple things of nature have a message that you understand, rejoice, for your soul is alive.”


Related image
A Joke for Today

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, "You are in charge of the cooking around here so you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides it says in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that! Show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says, "HEBREWS."

Wednesday, October 2, 2019

Bible Readings for October 2, 2019

Today our passages are  Isaiah 66:1-24; Philippians 3:4b-21; Psalm 74:1-23; and Proverbs 24:15-16. The readings are from the Contemporary English VersionIf you find these readings helpful, please consider sending an offering directly to Cove Presbyterian Church, 3404 Main Street, Weirton, West Virginia or through PayPal by using the link below.
https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=NX3WLYQG5864L

Isaiah 66:1-24 (Contemporary English Version)


Isaiah 66

True Worship
 1The LORD said:   Heaven is my throne;
   the earth is my footstool.
   What kind of house
   could you build for me?
   In what place will I rest?
    2I have made everything;
   that's how it all came to be. a] I, the LORD, have spoken.
   The people I treasure most
   are the humble--
   they depend only on me
   and tremble when I speak.
    3You sacrifice oxen to me,
   and you commit murder;
   you sacrifice lambs to me
   and dogs to other gods;
   you offer grain to me
   and pigs' blood to idols;
   you burn incense to me
   and praise your idols. b] You have made your own choice
   to do these disgusting things
   that you enjoy so much.
    4You refused to answer
   when I called out;
   you paid no attention
   to my instructions.
   Instead, you did what I hated,
   knowing it was wrong.
   Now I will punish c] you in a way you dread the most.   
The LORD Will Help Jerusalem
 5If you tremble   when the LORD speaks,
   listen to what he says:
   "Some of your own people hate
   and reject you because of me.
   They make fun and say,
   `Let the LORD show his power!
   Let us see him
   make you truly happy.' d] But those who say these things
   will be terribly ashamed."
    6Do you hear that noise
   in the city and those shouts
   coming from the temple?
   It is the LORD shouting
   as he punishes his enemies.
    7Have you ever heard of a woman
   who gave birth to a child
   before having labor pains?
    8Who ever heard of such a thing
   or imagined it could happen?
   Can a nation be born in a day
   or come to life in a second?
   Jerusalem is like a mother
   who gave birth to her children
   as soon as she was in labor.
    9The LORD is the one
   who makes birth possible.
   And he will see that Zion
   has many more children.
   The LORD has spoken.
    10If you love Jerusalem,
   celebrate and shout!
   If you were in sorrow
   because of the city,
   you can now be glad.
    11She will nurse and comfort you,
   just like your own mother,
   until you are satisfied.
   You will fully enjoy
   her wonderful glory.
    12The LORD has promised:
   "I will flood Jerusalem
   with the wealth of nations
   and make the city prosper.
   Zion will nurse you at her breast,
   carry you in her arms,
   and hold you in her lap.
    13I will comfort you there
   like a mother
   comforting her child."
    14When you see this happen,
   you will celebrate;
   your strength will return
   faster than grass can sprout.
   Then everyone will know
   that the LORD is present
   with his servants,
   but he is angry
   with his enemies.
    15The LORD will come down
   like a whirlwind
   with his flaming chariots.
   He will be terribly furious
   and punish his enemies
   with fire.
    16The LORD's fiery sword
   will bring justice
   everywhere on this earth
   and execute many people.   
A Threat and a Promise
 17Some of you get yourselves ready and go to a garden to worship a foreign goddess. e] You eat the meat of pigs, lizards, and mice. But I, the LORD, will destroy you for this. 18I know everything you do and think! The time has now come f] to bring together the people of every language and nation and to show them my glory 19by proving what I can do. g] I will send the survivors to Tarshish, Pul, h] Lud, Meshech, i] Tubal, Javan, j] and to the distant islands. I will send them to announce my wonderful glory to nations that have never heard about me. 20They will bring your relatives from the nations as an offering to me, the LORD. They will come on horses, chariots, wagons, mules, and camels k] to Jerusalem, my holy mountain. It will be like the people of Israel bringing the right offering to my temple. 21I promise that some of them will be priests and others will be helpers in my temple. I, the LORD, have spoken. 22I also promise that you will always have descendants and will never be forgotten, just as the new heavens and the new earth that I create will last forever. 23On the first day of each month and on each Sabbath, everyone will worship me. I, the LORD, have spoken.    24My people will go out and look at the dead bodies of those who turned against me. The worms there never die, the fire never stops burning, and the sight of those bodies will be disgusting to everyone. 
Footnotes:
  1. Isaiah 66:2 that's. . . be: One possible meaning for the difficult Hebrew text.
  2. Isaiah 66:3 You sacrifice oxen. . . idols: Or "Sacrificing oxen to me is the same as murder; sacrificing lambs to me is the same as sacrificing dogs to other gods; offering grain to me is the same as offering pigs' blood to idols; and burning incense to me is the same as praising idols."
  3. Isaiah 66:4 punish: One possible meaning for the difficult Hebrew text.
  4. Isaiah 66:5 Some. . . happy: One possible meaning for the difficult Hebrew text.
  5. Isaiah 66:17 Some. . . goddess: One possible meaning for the difficult Hebrew text.
  6. Isaiah 66:18 I. . . come: One possible meaning for the difficult Hebrew text.
  7. Isaiah 66:19 by. . . do: One possible meaning for the difficult Hebrew text.
  8. Isaiah 66:19 Pul: Hebrew; one ancient translation "Put," a country in Africa, but neither the location of Pul or Put is known for certain.
  9. Isaiah 66:19 Meshech: One ancient translation; Hebrew "those who use bows and arrows."
  10. Isaiah 66:19 Tarshish. . . Javan: Tarshish may have been a Phoenician city in Spain; Put (see note on Pul) and Lud were African people; Meshech and Tubal were regions south or southeast of the Black Sea; the Javan were people of Asia Minor and the Greek islands.
  11. Isaiah 66:20 camels: One possible meaning for the difficult Hebrew text.

Philippians 3:4-21 (Contemporary English Version)


4although I could. Others may brag about themselves, but I have more reason to brag than anyone else. 5I was circumcised when I was eight days old, a] and I am from the nation of Israel and the tribe of Benjamin. I am a true Hebrew. As a Pharisee, I strictly obeyed the Law of Moses. 6And I was so eager that I even made trouble for the church. I did everything the Law demands in order to please God. 7But Christ has shown me that what I once thought was valuable is worthless. 8Nothing is as wonderful as knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. I have given up everything else and count it all as garbage. All I want is Christ 9and to know that I belong to him. I could not make myself acceptable to God by obeying the Law of Moses. God accepted me simply because of my faith in Christ. 10All I want is to know Christ and the power that raised him to life. I want to suffer and die as he did, 11so that somehow I also may be raised to life.   
Running toward the Goal
 12I have not yet reached my goal, and I am not perfect. But Christ has taken hold of me. So I keep on running and struggling to take hold of the prize. 13My friends, I don't feel that I have already arrived. But I forget what is behind, and I struggle for what is ahead. 14I run toward the goal, so that I can win the prize of being called to heaven. This is the prize that God offers because of what Christ Jesus has done. 15All of us who are mature should think in this same way. And if any of you think differently, God will make it clear to you. 16But we must keep going in the direction that we are now headed.    17My friends, I want you to follow my example and learn from others who closely follow the example we set for you. 18I often warned you that many people are living as enemies of the cross of Christ. And now with tears in my eyes, I warn you again 19that they are headed for hell! They worship their stomachs and brag about the disgusting things they do. All they can think about are the things of this world.
    20But we are citizens of heaven and are eagerly waiting for our Savior to come from there. Our Lord Jesus Christ 21has power over everything, and he will make these poor bodies of ours like his own glorious body. 
Footnotes:
  1. Philippians 3:5 when I was eight days old: Jewish boys are circumcised eight days after birth.

Psalm 74:1-23 (Contemporary English Version)


Psalm 74

(A special psalm by Asaph.)
A Prayer for the Nation in Times of Trouble
 1Our God, why have you   completely rejected us?
   Why are you so angry
   with the ones you care for?
    2Remember the people
   you rescued long ago,
   the tribe you chose
   to be your very own.
   Think of Mount Zion,
   your home;
    3walk over to the temple
   left in ruins forever
   by those who hate us.
    4Your enemies roared like lions
   in your holy temple,
   and they have placed
   their banners there.
    5It looks like a forest
   chopped to pieces. a] 6They used axes and hatchets
   to smash the carvings.
    7They burned down your temple
   and badly disgraced it.
    8They said to themselves,
   "We'll crush them!"
   Then they burned every one
   of your meeting places
   all over the country.
    9There are no more miracles
   and no more prophets.
   Who knows how long
   it will be like this?
    10Our God, how much longer
   will our enemies sneer?
   Won't they ever stop
   insulting you?
    11Why don't you punish them?
   Why are you holding back?
    12Our God and King,
   you have ruled
   since ancient times;
   you have won victories
   everywhere on this earth.
    13By your power you made a path
   through the sea,
   and you smashed the heads
   of sea monsters.
    14You crushed the heads
   of the monster Leviathan, b] then fed him to wild creatures
   in the desert.
    15You opened the ground
   for streams and springs
   and dried up mighty rivers.
    16You rule the day and the night,
   and you put the moon
   and the sun in place.
    17You made summer and winter
   and gave them to the earth. c] 18Remember your enemies, LORD!
   They foolishly sneer
   and won't respect you.
    19You treat us like pet doves,
   but they mistreat us.
   Don't keep forgetting us
   and letting us be fed
   to those wild animals.
    20Remember the agreement
   you made with us.
   Violent enemies are hiding
   in every dark corner
   of the earth.
    21Don't disappoint those in need
   or make them turn from you,
   but help the poor and homeless
   to shout your praises.
    22Do something, God!
   Defend yourself.
   Remember how those fools
   sneer at you all day long.
    23Don't forget the loud shouts
   of your enemies. 
Footnotes:
  1. Psalm 74:5 pieces: One meaning for the difficult Hebrew text of verse 5.
  2. Psalm 74:14 Leviathan: God's victory over this monster sometimes stands for his power over all creation and sometimes for his defeat of Egypt.
  3. Psalm 74:17 gave. . . earth: Or " made boundaries for the earth."

Proverbs 24:15-16 (Contemporary English Version)

-27-
 15 Don't be a cruel person   who attacks good people
   and hurts their families.
    16Even if good people
   fall seven times,
   they will get back up.
   But when trouble strikes
   the wicked,
   that's the end of them.


Verse of the Day

“Don't fall into the trap of being a coward-- trust the LORD, and you will be safe.” - Proverbs 29:25
Today's passage is from the Contemporary English Version.

Greene in 1939Thought for the Day

English novelist regarded by many as one of the leading English novelists of the 20th century, Graham Greene wrote, “God created a number of possibilities in case some of his prototypes failed - that is the meaning of evolution.”

A Joke for Today

Image result for farmer wife jokes

On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?" 

To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!"

Tuesday, October 1, 2019

Bible Readings for October 1, 2019

Today our passages are  Isaiah 62:6–65:25; Philippians 2:19–3:4a; Psalm 73:1-28; and Proverbs 24:13-14. The readings are from the Contemporary English VersionIf you find these readings helpful, please consider sending an offering directly to Cove Presbyterian Church, 3404 Main Street, Weirton, West Virginia or through PayPal by using the link below.
https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=NX3WLYQG5864L

Isaiah 62:6-65:25 (Contemporary English Version)


6Jerusalem, on your walls
   I have stationed guards,
   whose duty it is
   to speak out day and night,
   without resting.
   They must remind the LORD
    7and not let him rest
   till he makes Jerusalem strong
   and famous everywhere.
    8The LORD has given his word
   and made this promise:
   "Never again will I give
   to your enemies
   the grain and grapes
   for which you struggled.
    9As surely as you harvest
   your grain and grapes,
   you will eat your bread
   with thankful hearts,
   and you will drink your wine
   in my temple."
    10People of Jerusalem,
   open your gates!
   Repair the road to the city
   and clear it of stones;
   raise a banner to help
   the nations find their way.
    11Here is what the LORD has said
   for all the earth to hear:
   "Soon I will come to save
   the city of Zion,
   and to reward you.
    12Then you will be called,
   `The LORD's Own People,
   The Ones He Rescued!'
   Your city will be known
   as a good place to live
   and a city full of people."
   

Isaiah 63

The LORD's Victory over the Nations
 1Who is this coming   from Bozrah a] in Edom with clothes stained red?
   Who is this hero marching
   in his glorious uniform?
   "It's me, the LORD!
   I have won the battle,
   and I can save you!"
    2What are those red spots?
   Your clothes look stained
   from stomping on grapes. b] 3"I alone stomped the grapes!
   None of the nations helped.
   I stomped nations in my anger
   and stained my clothes
   with their blood.
    4I did this because I wanted
   to take revenge--
   the time had come
   to rescue my people.
    5No one was there to help me
   or to give support;
   my mighty arm won the battle,
   strengthened by my anger.
    6In my fury I stomped on nations
   and made them drunk;
   their blood poured out
   everywhere on earth."   
The LORD's Goodness to His People
 7I will tell about the kind deeds   the LORD has done.
   They deserve praise!
   The LORD has shown mercy
   to the people of Israel;
   he has been kind and good.
    8The LORD rescued his people,
   and said,
   "They are mine.
   They won't betray me."
    9It troubled the LORD
   to see them in trouble,
   and his angel saved them. c] The LORD was truly merciful,
   so he rescued his people.
   He took them in his arms
   and carried them all those years.
    10Then the LORD's people
   turned against him
   and made
   his Holy Spirit sad.
   So he became their enemy
   and attacked them.
    11But his people remembered
   what had happened
   during the time of Moses. d] Didn't the LORD e] bring them and their leaders
   safely through the sea?
   Didn't he f] give them his Holy Spirit?
    12The glorious power of the LORD
   marched beside Moses.
   The LORD will be praised forever
   for dividing the sea.
    13He led his people across
   like horses running wild
   without stumbling.
    14His Spirit gave them rest,
   just as cattle find rest
   when led into a valley. g] The name of the LORD was praised
   for doing these things.   
A Prayer for Mercy and Help
 15Please, LORD, look down   from your holy and glorious
   home in the heavens
   and see what's going on.
   Have you lost interest?
   Where is your power?
   Show that you care about us h] and have mercy!
    16Our ancestors Abraham and Jacob
   have both rejected us.
   But you are still our Father;
   you have been our protector
   since ancient times.
    17Why did you make us turn away
   from you, our LORD?
   Why did you make us want
   to disobey you?
   Please change your mind!
   We are your servants,
   your very own people.
    18For a little while,
   your temple belonged to us; i] and now our enemies
   have torn it down.
    19We act as though you
   had never ruled us
   or called us your people.
   

Isaiah 64


 1Rip the heavens apart!   Come down, LORD;
   make the mountains tremble.
    2Be a spark that starts a fire
   causing water to boil. j] Then your enemies will know
   who you are;
   all nations will tremble
   because you are nearby.
    3Your fearsome deeds
   have completely amazed us;
   even the mountains shake
   when you come down.
    4You are the only God
   ever seen or heard of
   who works miracles
   for his followers.
    5You help all who gladly obey
   and do what you want,
   but sin makes you angry.
   Only by your help
   can we ever be saved. k] 6We are unfit to worship you;
   each of our good deeds
   is merely a filthy rag.
   We dry up like leaves;
   our sins are storm winds
   sweeping us away.
    7No one worships in your name
   or remains faithful.
   You have turned your back on us
   and let our sins melt us away. l] 8You, LORD, are our Father.
   We are nothing but clay,
   but you are the potter
   who molded us.
    9Don't be so furious
   or keep our sins
   in your thoughts forever!
   Remember that all of us
   are your people.
    10Every one of your towns
   has turned into a desert,
   especially Jerusalem.
    11Zion's glorious and holy temple
   where our ancestors praised you
   has been destroyed by fire.
   Our beautiful buildings
   are now a pile of ruins.
    12When you see these things,
   how can you just sit there
   and make us suffer more?
   

Isaiah 65

The LORD Will Punish the Guilty
 1I, the LORD, was ready   answer even those
   who were not asking
   and to be found by those
   who were not searching.
   To a nation that refused
   to worship me, m] I said, "Here I am!"
    2All day long I have reached out
   to stubborn and sinful people
   going their own way.
    3They keep making me angry
   by sneering at me,
   while offering sacrifices
   to idols in gardens
   and burning incense
   to them on bricks.
    4They spend their nights
   hiding in burial caves;
   they eat the meat of pigs, n] cooked in sauces
   made of stuff unfit to eat.
    5And then they say to others,
   "Don't come near us!
   We're dedicated to God."
   Such people are like smoke,
   irritating my nose all day.
    6I have written this down;
   I won't keep silent.
   I'll pay them back
   just as their sins deserve.
    7I, the LORD, will make them pay
   for their sins
   and for those
   of their ancestors--
   they have disgraced me
   by burning incense
   on mountains.
    8Here is what the LORD says:
   A cluster of grapes
   that produces wine
   is worth keeping!
   So, because of my servants,
   I won't destroy everyone.
    9I have chosen the people
   of Israel and Judah,
   and I will bless them
   with many descendants.
   They will settle here
   in this land of mountains,
   and it will be theirs.
    10My people will worship me.
   Then the coastlands of Sharon
   and the land as far
   as Achor Valley o] will turn into pastureland
   where cattle and sheep
   will feed and rest.
    11What will I, the LORD, do
   if any of you reject me
   and my holy mountain?
   What will happen to you
   for offering food and wine
   to the gods you call
   "Good Luck" and "Fate"?
    12Your luck will end!
   I will see to it
   that you
   are slaughtered with swords.
   You refused to answer
   when I called out;
   you paid no attention
   to my instructions.
   Instead, you did what I hated,
   knowing it was wrong.
    13I, the LORD God, will give
   food and drink
   to my servants,
   and they will celebrate.
   But all of you sinners
   will go hungry and thirsty,
   overcome with disgrace.
    14My servants will laugh and sing,
   but you will be sad
   and cry out in pain.
    15I, the LORD God, promise
   to see that you are killed
   and that my chosen servants use
   your names
   as curse words.
   But I will give new names p] to my servants. q] 16I am God! I can be trusted.
   Your past troubles are gone;
   I no longer think of them.
   When you pray for someone
   to receive a blessing,
   or when you make a promise,
   you must do it in my name.
   I alone am the God
   who can be trusted.   
The LORD's New Creation
 17I am creating new heavens   and a new earth;
   everything of the past
   will be forgotten.
    18Celebrate and be glad forever!
   I am creating a Jerusalem,
   full of happy people.
    19I will celebrate with Jerusalem
   and all of its people;
   there will be no more crying
   or sorrow in that city.
    20No child will die in infancy;
   everyone will live
   to a ripe old age.
   Anyone a hundred years old
   will be considered young,
   and to die younger than that
   will be considered a curse.
    21My people will live
   in the houses they build;
   they will enjoy grapes
   from their own vineyards.
    22No one will take away
   their homes or vineyards.
   My chosen people will live
   to be as old as trees,
   and they will enjoy
   what they have earned.
    23Their work won't be wasted,
   and their children won't die
   of dreadful diseases. r] I will bless their children
   and their grandchildren.
    24I will answer their prayers
   before they finish praying.
    25Wolves and lambs
   will graze together;
   lions and oxen
   will feed on straw.
   Snakes will eat only dirt!
   They won't bite
   or harm anyone
   on my holy mountain.
   I, the LORD, have spoken! 
Footnotes:
  1. Isaiah 63:1 Bozrah: The main city of Edom.
  2. Isaiah 63:2 stomping on grapes: This is one way that grapes were crushed to make them into juice.
  3. Isaiah 63:9 It. . . them: One possible meaning for the difficult Hebrew text.
  4. Isaiah 63:11 But. . . Moses: One possible meaning for the difficult Hebrew text.
  5. Isaiah 63:11 the LORD: Or "Moses."
  6. Isaiah 63:11 he: Or "Moses."
  7. Isaiah 63:14 His. . . valley: One possible meaning for the difficult Hebrew text.
  8. Isaiah 63:15 us: Hebrew "me."
  9. Isaiah 63:18 For. . . us: One possible meaning for the difficult Hebrew text.
  10. Isaiah 64:2 Be. . . boil: One possible meaning for the difficult Hebrew text.
  11. Isaiah 64:5 saved: One possible meaning for the difficult Hebrew text of verse 5.
  12. Isaiah 64:7 and let. . . away: One possible meaning for the difficult Hebrew text.
  13. Isaiah 65:1 refused. . . me: One possible meaning for the difficult Hebrew text.
  14. Isaiah 65:4 burial. . . pigs: Coming in contact with the dead or eating the meat of pigs made a person unacceptable to God.
  15. Isaiah 65:10 coastlands of Sharon. . . Achor Valley: Sharon is the coastal plain on the west, and Achor Valley is in the east near Jericho. These two places stand for the whole country.
  16. Isaiah 65:15 new names: The giving of a new name suggests the beginning of a new life.
  17. Isaiah 65:15 But I. . . servants: One possible meaning for the difficult Hebrew text.
  18. Isaiah 65:23 their children. . . diseases: One possible meaning for the difficult Hebrew text.

Philippians 2:19-3:4 (Contemporary English Version)

Timothy and Epaphroditus
 19I want to be encouraged by news about you. So I hope the Lord Jesus will soon let me send Timothy to you. 20I don't have anyone else who cares about you as much as he does. 21The others think only about what interests them and not about what concerns Christ Jesus. 22But you know what kind of person Timothy is. He has worked with me like a son in spreading the good news. 23I hope to send him to you, as soon as I find out what is going to happen to me. 24And I feel sure that the Lord will also let me come soon.    25I think I ought to send my dear friend Epaphroditus back to you. He is a follower and a worker and a soldier of the Lord, just as I am. You sent him to look after me, 26but now he is eager to see you. He is worried, because you heard he was sick. 27In fact, he was very sick and almost died. But God was kind to him, and also to me, and he kept me from being burdened down with sorrow.
    28Now I am more eager than ever to send Epaphroditus back again. You will be glad to see him, and I won't have to worry any longer. 29Be sure to give him a cheerful welcome, just as people who serve the Lord deserve. 30He almost died working for Christ, and he risked his own life to do for me what you could not.
   

Philippians 3

Being Acceptable to God
 1Finally, my dear friends, be glad that you belong to the Lord. It doesn't bother me to write the same things to you that I have written before. In fact, it is for your own good.    2Watch out for those people who behave like dogs! They are evil and want to do more than just circumcise you. 3But we are the ones who are truly circumcised, because we worship by the power of God's Spirit a] and take pride in Christ Jesus. We don't brag about what we have done, 4although I could. Others may brag about themselves, but I have more reason to brag than anyone else.
Footnotes:
  1. Philippians 3:3 by the power of God's Spirit: Some manuscripts have "sincerely."

Psalm 73:1-28 (Contemporary English Version)


Psalm 73

BOOK III
(Psalms 73-89)
(A psalm by Asaph.)
God Is Good
 1God is truly good to Israel, a] especially to everyone   with a pure heart.
    2But I almost stumbled and fell,
    3because it made me jealous
   to see proud and evil people
   and to watch them prosper.
    4They never have to suffer, b] they stay healthy,
    5and they don't have troubles
   like everyone else.
    6Their pride is like a necklace,
   and they commit sin
   more often
   than they dress themselves.
    7Their eyes poke out with fat,
   and their minds are flooded
   with foolish thoughts.
    8They sneer and say cruel things,
   and because of their pride,
   they make violent threats.
    9They dare to speak against God
   and to order others around.
    10God will bring his people back,
   and they will drink the water
   he so freely gives. c] 11Only evil people would say,
   "God Most High cannot
   know everything!"
    12Yet all goes well for them,
   and they live in peace.
    13What good did it do me
   to keep my thoughts pure
   and refuse to do wrong?
    14I am sick all day,
   and I am punished
   each morning.
    15If I had said evil things,
   I would not have been loyal
   to your people.
    16It was hard for me
   to understand all this!
    17Then I went to your temple,
   and there I understood
   what will happen
   to my enemies.
    18You will make them stumble,
   never to get up again.
    19They will be terrified,
   suddenly swept away
   and no longer there.
    20They will disappear, Lord,
   despised like a bad dream
   the morning after.
    21Once I was bitter
   and brokenhearted.
    22I was stupid and ignorant,
   and I treated you
   as a wild animal would.
    23But I never really left you,
   and you hold my right hand.
    24Your advice has been my guide,
   and later you will welcome me
   in glory. d] 25In heaven I have only you,
   and on this earth
   you are all I want.
    26My body and mind may fail,
   but you are my strength
   and my choice forever.
    27Powerful LORD God,
   all who stay far from you
   will be lost,
   and you will destroy those
   who are unfaithful.
    28It is good for me
   to be near you.
   I choose you as my protector,
   and I will tell about
   your wonderful deeds.
  
Footnotes:
  1. Psalm 73:1 to Israel: Or " to those who do right."
  2. Psalm 73:4 They. . . suffer: Or " They die a painless death."
  3. Psalm 73:10 gives: One possible meaning for the difficult Hebrew text of verse 10.
  4. Psalm 73:24 in glory: Or " with honor."

Proverbs 24:13-14 (Contemporary English Version)

-26-
 13 Honey is good for you,   my children,
   and it tastes sweet.
    14Wisdom is like honey
   for your life--
   if you find it,
   your future is bright.

Verse of the Day

“God will bless you when people insult you, mistreat you, and tell all kinds of evil lies about you because of me. Be happy and excited! You will have a great reward in heaven. People did these same things to the prophets who lived long ago.” - Matthew 5:11-12
Today's passage is from the Contemporary English Version.

Related imageThought for the Day

American author of romance and fiction, Faith Baldwin wrote, "Character builds slowly, but it can be torn down within incredible swiftness."

A Joke for Today

Related image Collection 30

If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the same stuff? 

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? 

If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just move 10 miles away? 

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? 

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. 

If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working? 

Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? 

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? 

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? 

Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns?